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Any advice on how to balance being a mom, work, school, and a wife and friend? I'm about to lose it trying to get this all worked in.

I am 23 and a mom of a wonderful 9 month old who is very active. I'm finding it very hard to juggle all of my responsibilities. My husband is 21 and was no where near ready for a baby so I feel on my own a lot and I was no where near prepared for this. Any advice on how to get my life on track, less stressful, and re-organized?

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MichaelsHotMama

Asked by MichaelsHotMama at 6:00 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • when u find out let me know..i am 25 yrs old....divorced with a 2 year old and a 4 year old....(form my marrage) i work a full tiem job go to school on my days off...and once a week i go to school straight after work..i have to tend to the kids the house...i NEVER go out..and dont really have friends...non that i c outside of work anyways.....i have been dating a guy for aobut 6 months now and i am exhausted....good luck.....it can be done..but jsut remember to plan plan plan....get a routine and stick to it....like we wake up at this time..we eat our meals at this time..we bathe at this time..this is work time...this is home time...this is bed time..this is the weekend i go out with my firends...this is my homework time..this is my husband time....write it all down....and stick to it as much as possible...it will make u much more organized....but always leave time inbetween items for those that take longer than planed...
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 6:42 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Well it's not fair that you have to do most of it on your own. Your husband needs to step up and do his share. And that means HALF! She's half his too... and ready for a baby or not... he did the deed to make her... so now he has to deal with it. So stick it to him! Things my DH husband does- he does most of the cleaning, does bath time, puts him to bed... while I take a little bit of time to myself to relax. And you NEED time like that to de-stress!
    Then find friends and family to help you out too (if you don't know anyway, check for local groups on here) see if you can do some play dates to be more social and then maybe a "baby swap" you take their kiddo for a while she gets stuff done and then later they watch your baby while you get stuff done.
    I would try to get your baby on a routine so that you can have fairly predictible times to plan for times to study or whatever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Hi I'm 25 and mom of three .... 3 year old 8 month old and 36 year old thats my husband.
    Family life is extremely demanding--no question about it. I have learned that if you are not making time to nurture your self no body will -- I am not a negative person by far, however even while having a pretty close to perfect husband I have learned that men simply don't understand what it takes for us women to balance and nurture a family. They simply were not physically nor emotionally designed to understand the demands.
    It wasn't till last October that I realized that I really needed to take better care of myself- for my families sake.
    I created somewhat of a schedule for my self and children. I've designated at least a day in the week where I wake up get dressed and go out ALONE, I may just head to the city and window shop or treat my self to a great lunch or dinner.
    Nurturing yourself allows you to embrace mommy-hood.
    Ninnny

    Answer by Ninnny at 6:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I was you, 9 years ago. I had my dd a month before I turned 23. I worked full time, went to school at night, was married (still am), and still wanted to see my friends once in a while.

    First off. It CAN be done, you just have to keep your head.

    Your husband has to help, no weasling out of it. See your friends, take the baby, but don't make the visit about your baby. Concentrate on your studies, they won't last forever unless you fail and have to do them again. Do well at work so you don't get fired.

    You just have to do it. Don't let yourself get all riled up about doing too many things. I did it. Then, 5 years later, I did it again. Another baby, another degree. No sweat.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:25 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • planning is definately key. also, look for support from family and friends. and as much as your husband is not ready, he needs to help. talk to your counselors/advisors at school, too. keep your load at school light.

    it will be hard. but you can do it. just plan ahead and keep your head up. it will all work out okay in the end. :-)
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:14 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Wow. Take time for yourself, however you can get it. That's what will get lost in all those responsibilities. If you have a girl friend who thinks your baby is so cute, take her up on her offer to watch her for an afternoon and don't worry if the naps or whatever may suffer. I'm not taking on nearly as much as you, but I found it best for awhile to shift into survival mode (I'm sure you already have) and to skip being polite. Ask people for help whenever you can. Your husband included. Ready or not, you have a baby and he'll have to grow up for that. Be clear with him what you need from him. Same with family or anyone else if you're lucky enough to have people near you.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:46 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

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