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Would you be mad? (more of a vent)

So my dh leaves the house @ 5:30am and after work goes to school (wants a career cange) and doesn't get home until 9:30 or 10 pm. Monday thru Thursday. Tonight I was goning to meet him b/c I printed out his assignment for him. He at first said that he would be there @ 4:30. Well @ 5 I called him and asked what time he wanted me to meet him. He said 6, his class doesn't start until 6:30, so I asked if he had time to have dinner w/ us, fast food. But "no" the reason he was later than 4:30 is b/c he stopped to get something to eat. Now wouldn't you think that since he NEVER sees us, the thought may cross his mind, to have a quick dinner w/ us. I am just so irritated w/ his selfishness!!!!!

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4monkees

Asked by 4monkees at 8:18 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Yeah, pretty selfish...but men are men and sometimes they just don't get it! At least hes trying to better himself....just call him an a@@ and then forget about it! LOL
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:19 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Did you mention going to eat first? If not, he didn't know. You can't call him selfish for going to eat if you didn't suggest it. Men aren't mindreaders.
    StifflersMom82

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 8:20 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • One would think but this is a man with a few things on his mind like work, food, and class. Nicely ask him about it and tell him you all miss him and would have loved to have seen him. He truly may have just spaced it out--I know it hurts but I am thinking he didn't mean to hurt you....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Honey,you are talking about a man.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 8:21 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I bet you my Husband is more selfish than yours!!! I'm just kidding. Trying to give you a laugh. Men can be so ignorant sometimes but they don't think they way we do. My Husband would do something like this and not even have a second thought. Honestly.
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 8:22 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • He is concentrating so hard on what he is doing that he didn't think. Don't be critical of him. But some time later on, pleasantly suggest that maybe in a similar situation that you'd like to have the quick meal with him even if it was just a few minutes. He may feel that it would be too distracting, that if he relaxes by seeing you that he'll lose his momentum, since he does have such busy schedule. Even so, I sympathize with your frustration and disappointment. It is a rough time now but eventually it will pay off when he gets the job he is aiming for.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:24 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • This is why these men are so ignorant,selfish,etc. It's because you ladies let them get away with that sh!t by making excuses. lol

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • But from what you wrote, he had his supper before you even mentioned meeting to eat together. If he has been working all day, then heading to school he probably had a lot on his mind. Great gravy give him a break and tell him that the next time you guys have plans to meet to make it a plan to have a quick meal too.

    Now...if you've already done that before..and he continues to keep to himself like this, then you have a reason to be angry. But don't expect him to read our mind for what you want to do. It's called a routine...and a lot of people have them. When under pressure, most people don't even think about changing their routines.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Men are just completely thoughtless about some things, just as women are completely thoughtless about other things.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 11:13 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • he sounds like my bf. he's totally clueless and doesn't even dawn on him he isnt' being thoughtful. i'm not kidding, he really doesn't. it's a major flaw but i just have learned that is who he is and i don't bother getting mad. i joke about it more than anything else. with him i have to plan ahead if i want to do something. we don't get to see each other a lot because of our work schedules so i have to just say 'ok, i'm meeting you for lunch tomororw, make sure you're up at that time so we can meet up' i have to plant the ideas in his head sometimes and make him think he came up with them. he has been attempting thoughtful, it just doesn't come natural to him. so when he is it makes it that much more special!
    igot2

    Answer by igot2 at 12:14 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

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