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If you were in my shoes what would you do?

I am a born again Christian.I was always drawn to crosses and God.Like I have said before. I was raised by parents who do not believe in God.Now that I have found my faith. I do come across struggles.The main one is that my husband isn't an active anything. When we met he said he was an atheist.Now he claims to believe in God from the birth of our firstborn.(The miracle of life.) That's all fine and dandy.As far as our children go.I want them to know and love God as I do.I am afraid if they see him not going to church. They will feel forced.Which will defeat why I want them to go in the first place.What would you do?How would you handle it?


Asked by Alize26 at 9:19 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (10)
  • Let them know both of your view points and maybe come up with a plan to combine both of your feelings. Maybe take them to church but not every time you go and maybe ask your DH if he can come sometimes.I do that with my DH. When he wants to go, I go too. He also respects my feelings. If you make church and your beliefs interesting and meaningful and set an example for your kids, you will influence them and when they are old enough, they can make the decision to go every Sunday or not. Your beliefs should be part of your home too. I loved my Sunday School when I was a kid. My dad went to church but my mom instilled my beliefs in me and always taught me everything I needed to know.

    I am not sure how old they are but kids praise music was important to me when I was young.


    Answer by hannahwill at 9:53 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I would still take my kids to church. My dad never went, but I never thought he didn't believe in a higher power. As they get older, though, I would expect them to not want to go, for whatever reason (find it boring, exploring other religions, etc.). You are as much of an example as your husband, and just be aware they may be drawn to other options.

    Answer by Lizzie_Angus at 9:23 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Are your children still young?

    Personally, I think you need to let your children make up their own mind. While they are young, bring them to church, teach them at home, take them to Sunday School, etc. but if they tell you that they don't want to go, don't make them go. If they don't have the choice, then you are forcing them.

    You can talk with your husband too. If he does believe as you do then maybe he'll make the choice to go to church too. At least sometimes.

    Answer by Myantek at 9:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I am a spiritual person- I believe in God, have faith and pray- but I do not like the institution of church. My mother is agnostic- wants to believe but has trouble believing. She took me to church when I was younger and then again when i was a teen and chose to go on my own. She support my beliefs no matter what and I intend to do the same to my children. I exposed them to church (several slightly different denominations- Nazarene, baptist, and contemporary christian) and they enjoy all of them. It gives me a good feeling that they enjoy going. They feel like they have a community there and at 4 and 6 ask to go. I don't know if it will last but when it comes down to it you can't force a belief on them, but you certainly should expose them to it and teach them, but let it be their choice. Otherwise you could inadvertantly push them away. My husband's family is overbearing on him. If he doesn't attend the bug the hell out of hi

    Answer by LuckyClown at 9:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • m- (no pun intended) and because of that he is stubbornly refusing to go at all... even though he makes apoint of living with Christian values and actually anjoys church- he feels guilty fo rnot going but he feels it needs to be his choice, not theirs.

    Answer by LuckyClown at 9:28 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • sorry for those typos, had a lot to say...

    Answer by LuckyClown at 9:29 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • This is what happened to my mom. She married my dad before she was a Christian. My mom became Christian about three years into their marriage. Dad was livid.

    After my brother turned three and I was seven she decided it was time to take us to church. My dad stayed home and used to get into fights with mom about "forcing" us to go. While we were little, mom did force us to go. If we told her we didn't want to go, she told us we weren't to go outside all day, either. We went! Later when we were teens, dad put his foot down and told her it was up to us to decide whether or not to go. I stopped attending shortly after that. But, I guess the early training held up, because I'm a Christian today.

    Train a child up in the way they should go, and when they are older they will not depart from it.

    Talk with hubby and come to an agreement you can both live with. You'll need to present a united front for your kid.

    Answer by timelessglass at 9:32 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • By all means, take them to church with you if you want to, whether your dh goes or not. I also think that you can emphasize that there is more to faith/spirituality than church attendance. It is reflected in the way you live. I really attempt to guide my kids more in my actions than in my words or in how/where I practice my beliefs. Dh and I have agreed not to raise the kids with any particular religious dogma. However the things we hold dear and value are reflected in the way we live. If they learn to be compassionate human beings, I will feel I have done my job regardless of whatever dogma they choose to follow.

    Answer by Freela at 9:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Take them to church and teach them about your faith, but you must allow your husband equal rights.  They will either believe or they won't, the best thing you can do is support them and love them.


    Answer by beeky at 9:37 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Sure take them to church. Most churches have childrens church and they may enjoy it. But respect your husbands point of view as well. Just don't force them to go and make sure to answer their questions. Above all else love them and respect their points of view.

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:40 PM on Mar. 12, 2009