Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

am i being selfish?!?help. any advice please!

i told my husband from the beginning i didnt want to be part of a military family. i told him that if thats what he wanted we shouldnt go any further then casual dating. he gareed. told me it wasnt what he wanted. now all of a suddon with a 3 yr old and a baby due in 4 weeks he wants to join?? and im selfish for not supporting my husband??? help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I don't think you are because you discussed this with him before and he agreed. He had the choice! That's how I see it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • No you are not. It was an agreement.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I don't think that's selfish at all... As much as I admire men who serve this country, I almost feel it would be selfish of your husband to join now, after you guys agreed it wasn't for your family.
    Lizzie_Angus

    Answer by Lizzie_Angus at 9:44 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • i agree. if its not what you wnat and you say it from the get go.....im a army wife....and lets just say it def not for everyone
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I agree with everyone else. You made a decision to marry him based on who he was then. If he is deciding to change, it is not fair to you. Stick to your guns!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Support your husband. This sounds like he has found a secure way to support his family. He needs to feel you are on his side to have a healthy marriage. Don't nag him because of his job choice. All he is trying to do is support his family. Being in the military is a very respectful way too.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • What are the reasons he wants to join?Also why are you against it?Besides the obvious.(Him getting hurt.)
    Alize26

    Answer by Alize26 at 9:51 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Life is full of change. People grow, get married, have children, loose parents, graduate, loose jobs, get promotions and so on. People change & the longer you are married the more changes will occur and growth occur. Sometimes we have to let go of our ideals from our early years to be able to provide for our families. His choice is a very honorable decision. You should be proud.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • i dont think you are i told my husband the same thing and he agrees with me he would rather be here with me and our kids
    Lacrisha

    Answer by Lacrisha at 10:01 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I dont think you are being selfish, but he is being admirable. Knowing the kind of crap we are in and he still wants to join. I personally couldnt do it. I am the kind of person that doesnt like being alone, so i wouldnt be able to handle it. So you are in a tough spot. because you do say for better or worse in your vows...but you were up front with him and honest. So i personally dont think you are being selfish.
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 10:09 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN