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Which do you think hurts a child more?

What do you think is more damaging to a child-- an overly permissive parent, or an overly strict parent? I have a very strong opinion on this, but am curious to see what others think.


Asked by Mishelly728 at 10:22 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (17)
  • I think it depends on the child. I would've failed to thrive in a house that was overly permissive. I love schedules and orderlyness (to a point. i'm not OCD or anything). But i did have a friend in HS who had parents who were very permissive. I thought for sure she'd be a knocked up teeange mom of 2 on drugs by now. ...but bc of the way her parents were she has moved on past her "party stage" and is taking college very seriously.
    Her half sister on the other hand. ....well, i said. It depends on the child.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:37 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Me pesonally,I think an overly strict parent,I was daddys little girl( still am),My parents were so strict with me,I never went to a school dance,prom,nothing,no football when I left home,I went wild,I really did'nt know what to do.I keep a damn good house though ha ha.

    Answer by Val504 at 10:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Being overly strict hurts more... Part of being a kid is experiencing life while still having the parents there to guide you.... When parents are to strict you dont get to experience with your peers so you dont learn how to handle life the way the rest of the world does. therfor when you leave home you have alot of catching up to do & that can be dangerous!

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Hmmm...I also agree that it would depend on the parent/child relationship in general and each child specifically. Overall, I would say overly strict parenting can hurt the child very directly, and society indirectly, but overly permissive parenting can hurt the child indirectly and society much more directly.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:49 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I think either can be equally harmful. My parents were very strict with me, and sometimes I thank them, sometimes, not so much. Because of how strict they were I had no idea what to do when I got an ounce of freedom. I understand why they were the way they were. Just wish they would have let up a little and let me live some!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • When i went to college it was in our text book about this and they said that both is bad and considered abuse. You have to stay in the middle to be normal!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • BOTH end up with a very angry kid.

    Answer by gammie at 11:06 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • My parents were overly strict with me, and I moved out when I was 17. My mom set rules for me, that my sister had created. If my sister did something "bad", I had a new rule. My mom didn't let me be me, or trust me to be me. I didn't get into anything to terrible, and I have wonderful memories and stories of the adventures I had, but at the same time, I didn't finish high school, and it took a long time to build a relationship with my mom.

    If my mother wasn't soo strict, and actually listened to me, things would have turned out differently. But I like where I am in life.

    I am not overly strict with my kids, but I do set rules and expect them to respect my rules. But I also (when they are older) will respect them and not treat them like they don't have a brain.

    Answer by my4lads at 11:09 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Extremes of any kind don't really turn out well. That being said, balance is where it's at.

    Answer by BaisMom at 11:11 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • I think both are equally bad. I had a friend in high school who had overly strict parents and mine were way too permissive. The two of us were wild as hell. She said she envied me because my parents let me do whatever I wanted while she had to sneak out to be able to do anything. I always kind of wished my parents would say no once in awhile or punish me for doing something bad.


    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:23 PM on Mar. 12, 2009