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How do you let go?

My husband is a liar, a cheater, a verbaly and physically abusive man. I still stick around! I know other men want me, not just to sleep with me, but to love me and my children. I love this man more than life itself, but I KNOW that I deserve better. How do you let go...and move on? Most of the time I think that I stay with him because I feel bad for him. I feel so stupid...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Hmmm....well, I guess I would rely on family to support me and put me up for a while. I don't really have any better advice because I haven't gone though it and can't really imagine what I'd do....sorry
    Kaytlynsmommy

    Answer by Kaytlynsmommy at 10:47 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Is it love? Or are you afraid of change? You sound like an intelligent woman, so why the hell are you still with that assh#le? A man who is that physically and emotionally abusive isn't worth the time of day nor should you put up with that shit. If he does it to you what's to stop him doing it to your kids?GET OUT OF THERE NOW.
    BooBear666

    Answer by BooBear666 at 10:48 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • You have no respect for yourself. He does not love you, as soon as you see that, you will move out. Also put your kids first, they can not live like this. They should never see their dad abuse their mother, that just wrong. Respect your kids and yourself and move out.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:52 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • Your children deserve a better role model than this man. You don't want them growing up thinking that this is normal behavior and ending up in abusive relationships or being abusers themselves. You have to remember that your husband is an adult that made the decision to be a father and a husband. He is responsible for his choices and you shouldn't feel bad for him. We all have choices to make in life and when you become a father you should put your children first. You and your children deserve a better life than this.
    Lisahi

    Answer by Lisahi at 10:55 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • hey i actually KNOW a woman (who goes to my church) who was in an physical and emotional abusive relationship. she was not a crazy woman either but she actually ended up killing her husband and spent 25 years in prison :( she said that ppl in those kinds of relationships actually DO love them. and its true, i believe it. bc i was in something like that too. BUT..you need to get out and take care of yourself. it WILL be hard..but you can do it. you dont deserve to be in something like that. eveyrthing will be okay...good luck :) you can message me if ud like.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 10:59 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

  • First, get in contact with your local domestic violence service. They will help you get a plan for leaving, including an emergency evacuation plan. Next, start saving some money-- whatever you can. You need to be emotionally ready to leave. You may love him, but love yourself more. Once you know in your heart that you are better than how he is treating you, you will be ready. When you do leave, you need to get a protective order. More women's lives are threatend when they leave or when they get pregnant. If he violates the order, call the police.

    You can feel bad for him and continue to love him. Just do it from a distance, and only in your heart. Do not let him back into your life. You'll simply start the cycle again.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:37 PM on Mar. 12, 2009

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