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It is really cheating?

I'm thinking about an online affair.. its not really cheating is it? or what..? I'm so lonely, and I feel neglected. I want to fill my empty space. But I don't want to leave my husband. Or go sleep around. I've tried to fix our problems, I've talked to him about everything so many times I'm blue from it. He's not willing to change, only to say he'll change. My kids love him though, and I don't want to have to share our daughter. He's a Dj, gone alot at nights, and around a lot of slutty girls.. I don't trust him either..

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Mar. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • OP- I see u say u want to be happy, smile, feel fulfilled etc.. well cheating and betraying someone wont help u feel better about yourself. it may make u feel worse.(no mater how bad u feel he is, the old saying "2 wrongs dont make a right" fits ) If u arent ready for divorce you dont need to cheat (in any way). You say your children have been through alot? y not get out of your situation (if thats what u really want) and focus on healing them. Try to inderstand I'm not bashing u, but u seem to have a negative pattern with men. Heal yourself from the abuse u have suffered, BEFORE u get in any other kind of relationship. Get the validation you need from the love you have for yourself, and through your children.. who are way more in tune to your emotions than you think. they feel your sadness whether u fake happy or not.. take time and work on healing your past hurts. u and your kids will b better for it. Praying 4 u!! God bless
    Tzutchka

    Answer by Tzutchka at 10:18 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I think you two need to work out your issues. An online affair will only lead to one you want to have in person. Trust me, I know!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I believe that is called an 'emotional' affair. Where you don't have a physical relationship with someone else, but they fill your emotional needs. I am sorry you are lonely. You sound very unhappy. Life is short. Too short to spend so much time unhappy!
    4kidsandadog

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 12:02 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • why did you delete ur first question then repost it?

    My answer didn't change, if he were doing it to you, would u consider it a betrayal of your marriage.

    You need to spend less time plotting, less time looking around for sin, and work on your marriage, if ur marriage isn't worth working on then get out of it but don't go askin gppl. to condone your bad decissions.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:13 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • By the way no matter what u think when a marriage is bad it's ALWAYS two ppl.s faults.

    Even when a woman is getting beat, part of it is her fault, if she wan't there taking it day after day he wouldn't have her to beat in the first place.

    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:15 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Never said I was perfect in my relationship. I deleted the first one because I didn't put enough information in it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • it is cheating. its an emotional affair like 4kidsandadog said... having an affair is only going to prolong your unhappyness. The best thing to do is figure out a plan that will help fix the problem. Since we dont know you, we cant say what that is. sometimes change is hard & that is what alot of us fear, is change! its very scary! But sometimes that is what is needed & is what is best! Maybe you should tell your DH what your attempted to do. Also if you are not happy, your kids wont be either :( if spliting up seems like the only choice, its better to do sooner than later.
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 12:23 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I didn't say that u sai u were perfect but u said u'v done everything, u haven't done everythign I'm sure of it.

    Your looking for every reason and every excuse to go ahead and do something horribly stupid.

    Your kids love him, what would they feel like if they ever found out about u going around behind daddy's back?

    Dont think it can happen?

    I know someone who found out her father wasn't her father when her mother's email froze on the comp. She's been talking to her father for yrs and the guy was begging her to tell the truth. The point is stuff happens and ur jepordizing ur life, ur kids' wll being on some selfish junk.

    You want to have a better relationship get the "Love Dare" and actually do it for the whole 40 days, get "21 Days of Loving Your man with purpouse and a plan", Get "The Power of a Praying Wife" get "A Wife After God's Own Heart". The change starts with you, his change will come.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:26 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I have friends that had no hope in their relationships and out of being sick of me and seeing the change in my own marriage they picked up some of these books and strated to apply them in their lives they are all doing 100% better to the point where their SO's are comletely different. They call me all the time just to tell me they, "can't believe it!"
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:28 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • My kids are too young to find out about any affairs right now. Besides He's not even their dad, and they know that. If I do this and he finds out, then I get the divorce i've been wanting for months, if he doesn't find out, then I get to fill the gap i have, be a little happier, and our daughter gets to have both parents at the same time. My husband makes me feel misserable. I don't want to do those things to fix it. My life is hard enough right now for other reasons and I don't need any more on my plate. I need to smile some, I need to laugh some, and I need to feel that SOMEONE finds me interesting. At least I don't want to be a whore and bring home some STD. I don't want to see any man in that way, no even on here. I just want someone to talk to.. someone to pay attention to me, and make me feel special.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

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