Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Parenting Plan?

I am 8 and a half months pregnant with twins. I have been with my finance for a long time and all of the sudden he wants to do a parenting plan incase we break up. It was so out of the blue..It makes me think he wants to break up or something. I always thought that you only did a parenting plan when you divorced? I know its his mom who wants him to do it. I don't want to do one and it causes a huge fight every time he brings it up. How do I make my point that we don't need to do one and his mommy doesn't know everything! She thinks I "trapped" him by getting pregnant..Like I took his sperm and put it in me in hopes of getting pregnant. I just don't know what to do..any advice? Anyone been in the same situation??

Answer Question
 
twinmommy2009

Asked by twinmommy2009 at 12:21 AM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I wouldn't suggest he keep his mom's opinions to him self because she's going to cause you guys to NEED a parenting plan.

    Better yet I would set up a dinner or a lunch, sort of a "Grandma to be Lunchen" at your house or a public place u feel conmfy speaking and being ur self.

    Sitting HIM AND HER down and calmly, elequently and maturely saying that you appreciate her suggestions, you love her for how much she loves, cares for her sin and your kids but that you would really appreciate it if she aloud her son to be the man of the family by making his own deccisions and mind up because her suggestions while well intentioned have been causing lots of problems. And infront of his mother I would ask you to please make clear to him that you invision a man to be a person who doesn't listen to every wisper, concern or issue someone else has. That any problem concern or worry should be brought to you, discussed with you but that
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:37 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • your relationship wont work if he doens't make you, your opinion and your kids well beings his priority.

    "I respectfully and with all the love in my heart ask you to ask anyone who is trying to butt into our lives to butt out, this is our life and I can't respect you as the father of my children if your being lead by others"

    TO ur MIL...I respect you and I want u to be a part of these kids lives, I love ur son, I will not hurt him and I will def not use our kids to hurt him, I'm not that immature but if u want us to have a fare shot at this please let us be adults and make our own deccisons. I will not make a parenting agreement beause that is for ppl. who dont have a relationship (even devorced ppl. don't have one if they can get along the courts would rather not be involved). to ur SO "wehn u tell me we need to make one out I hear that u don't have faith in our relationship and that u don't want to be with me"
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:42 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • good luck, I think allllllllll knew couples go through sim. situations. My FIL butted in ALOT when we were first married, I took it, took it, took it, I was even disrespected alot in my own home, ignored when I was doing him favirs, etc... One day he treated me aweful, I go tso fed up I cursed him out and told him to go F him self. (That's after he had cursed at me while I just sat here for 4 hours taking his crap) I was the one and only person who EVER stoof up to this man.

    He 1 started to respect me
    2 asked for my forgiveness
    3 told me I was the daughter he has always wanted
    4 told me I had give him (on another day) the best day of his whole life

    So I suggest you stand up for ur self so your man gets the hint. Boy did I tell my hub about 100 tomes to stand up for me, and to tell ppl.t o mind thier biz, when he didn't I finally had to do it or my self.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 12:45 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • If your expecting and he is serious about you then you should already be living together, if you guys aren't then it should be something he is working on.... if your living together than a parenting plan is obsolete, if he has no plans on moving in then absoloutely not!! never set yourself up to be behind; a parenting plan is actually part of a court order in a custody case and if you have an existing one then it will more than likely be re-instated in court, if you don't the mom generally has the upperhand (and almost always if she is breastfeeding)
    its_HER_world

    Answer by its_HER_world at 1:02 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • not if ur in NJ, my friend had her daughter on Wed was out of the hospital by Friday was breastfeeding, they had an emergency court hearing on that Friday and he got the baby sat and sunday even though she cried her eyes out that she was BFing. The judge told her "that's why they make pumps"

    Horrible! I hate the court system in NJ, they always help the low life in the situation.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 1:13 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I would do one and have the confidence in my relationship to not worry about ever using it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:43 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • ur right admckenzie but he wants to do it bcuz of the crud his mommy s putting in his head, if he doesn't or she doesn't put her foot down she's gonna have issues (BIG ONES) when those babies come and her man will have no testies to set his mommy right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • almost mother in laws suck but trust me mother in laws are worse i think you need to explain to him that it hurts you that he would bring this up...but in the end it all comes down to him sticking up to his mother sounds like a mamas boy like mine and dont listen to his mothers comments ignore them and shell stop if she thinks your too mature for that
    mamaschroeder7

    Answer by mamaschroeder7 at 12:17 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.