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Daycare & your child's unwillingness to cooperate?

My daughter is nine months old and I am a stay at home/work from home mom. My husband and I about two weeks ago got gym memberships so that we could get back into shape and become healthier, happier parents. Well, Ava is not having daycare at all. She cries and has what appear to be mini panic attacks every time we leave her in there. I am worried for her that this is causing anxiety issues! Not to mention they are not going to keep her much longer if we don't get this under control. Anyone have any suggestions??? Please???


Asked by prettylilrae at 1:38 AM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • 9 months old is a classic age for separating anxiety. Usually it goes away on it's own with gentle consistnacy. I had that problem with my daughter when she was a toddler, I was going to the YMCA and they had a wonderful daycare there. It took a couple of weeks for her to get used to the idea. But after that, she loved it there and I had a hard time getting her to leave lol

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:14 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Well, it is good for her to be away from you, if she hasn't yet. She will get used to it. And she is not going to hurt herself by crying. Trust Me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I understand that crying isn't necessarily a negative, but the daycare will not continue to take her if the problem persists.

    Answer by prettylilrae at 1:48 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Work out at different times so she can be with her mom and dad, rather than a total stranger! At this age, it's perfectly normal development for babies to have separation anxiety. Read this article

    And yeah, anon 10 41, you're right because if children aren't in daycare by the time they're 2 weeks old, they're going to be socially inept, right? I don't believe it's good to rip children away from their parents when they're clearly upset about it, maybe that means she's not ready!

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 2:01 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • How are they treating her at the daycare? I take care of children at my home, and notice that often when mommy and daddy leave, the kids need a few mins to cry, and then lots of cuddles from me for about 20-30 mins after that.

    I visited a daycare once--the infant room. A little girl was crying for the whole 20 minutes I was there. I asked what was wrong, and was told she was having "hysterics" because she was having a hard time adjusting. The baby was 4 months old. Meanwhile, the daycare providers were holding other children that were perfectly content.

    Please look at the kind of care they are providing. Children need LOVE and HUGS--not to be left in a corner because they're crying.

    Answer by epoh at 6:57 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • If the daycare is going to stop letting her stay because she's upset, I'd find another daycare. That's stupid!

    She's only 9 months old and has to get used to being away from you might take a little time. They should understand that. If the daycare doesn't/cannot understand that, then you should find a proper one.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 8:26 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I'm sure I'll get bashed, but I started taking my son to the sitter's when he was 8 weeks old because I had to go back to work. But it's a home daycare and the sitter loves him almost as much as I do :) So I believe that it is good for kids to have some time away from their parents, and parents definitely need a break too, I think it is great that you and your DH are spending some quality time together! Have you tried going into the daycare with her and playing with her until she is comfortable? If you can get her involved in an activity and playing with the other kids, you might be able to slip out while she's happy and that might make the transition easier.

    Answer by bethany169 at 9:40 AM on Mar. 13, 2009