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Can you hold a friendship with a mom who has a totally different parenting style?

For example: you are very scheduled and she isn't. Or you are pro-breastfeeding and she is anti-breastfeeding. You are against physical discipline and she hits her kids. You think co-sleeping is borderline abuse and she loves it. You immediatelty respond to baby and she lets baby CIO.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • i guess sort of. it annoys me when my friend comes over and lets her bad ass son destroy my house with out even so muc has a peep then if the kid asks her more then two questions (interupting her rants abou her man) she macks the crap out of him. She's psycho! I have other friends who claim they were unable to BF when I know they didn't try it out side the hospital and or FF in the hospital because they "didn't have enough" even after I offered to leaned them 1 or 2 of my 10 BF books. And to help them out. That just proves to me they really had NO intention to BF in the first place.

    I have all types of friends I just say hi, bye I hope all is well and I try to not hang out because more then that and I want to slap someone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Many times over the years, I've seen moms with different parenting styles drift apart.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:33 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Honestly, I dont think I could. When I believe something is wrong I hate to see it happening in front of me. And I dont like to butt in, so I would rather stay away
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 2:36 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • It's definitely possible, but can be difficult depending on how different your styles and beliefs are. I lost a friend over this, because she was offended by a difference of opinion we had in parenting styles.
    Make sure that you always keep your lips zipped unless she's doing something that is clearly putting her child/ren in danger. This can be difficult depending on how strongly you feel about the particular subject/s you differ in.
    It's possible to be respectful of her and her of you even if you aren't in agreement. You probably aren't likely to find someone who's parenting style falls completely in line with yours anyhow.
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 2:42 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • its her kids, not mine. i will tell friends my opinion. if they dont like it then they will keep doing what they were doing. Nothing i can do about it. my SIL told me that her sister is co-sleeping with the daughter. i told her how dangerous that is. it was on the news a couple weeks ago, a baby actually died!!... Well my SIL's sister thought about it twice the next time. so that actually helped them to change their mind about it.

    breastfeeding or not is everyones own decision. sometimes you cant even choose, some women are just not able to breastfeed.

    if i would know that my friend hits her/his kids, i would definately not tollerate that!!! there is no reason to hit a child, thats called child abuse...

    thank god my friends and i have almost always the same opinion on things.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 2:47 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I can. My best friend has a very different parenting style than me. We have been best friends, more like sisters since we were 12, a different view on breastfeeding can't ruin our friendship. She did not breastfeed, she lets her kid do things that I definitely wouldn't, and she rarely disciplines him. I mention things that concern me, but I don't think he's in serious danger, and I live on the other side of the country now, so most of our friendship is via cell phone calls and I don't have to deal with his behavior, so I just let her parent her child.

    Really we have different lifestyles, she is very liberal, I'm very conservative. She parties, I'm a homebody.. but that's probably why we're more like sisters, I love her to death, but sometimes I don't like her. She's always there for me though, like when the words mild MR first started being thrown around about my daughter, she's a sped major and she talked me through it all.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 3:29 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • The only thing I could not and will not ever tolerate is child abuse. I've lost one life long friend because she spanked her child. And I don't regret it or a second.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:21 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I would hope so.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:29 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I seriously doubt you could keep that friendship going. Someones feelings will be hurt in the end. But, thats only if you can't keep you opinions to yourself. (Hard to do with someone thats supposed to be your friend) If you can refrain from commenting on her parenting, then maybe it can be worked out. But look how strongly others moms have posted on here about things like co-sleeping and spanking (which is NOT child abuse! I suffered child abuse and I certainly know the difference bewteen spanking and abuse!)

    I'm a spanking, (partial) co-sleeping, CIO, vaccinating, circ-ing parent and proud of it!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 5:17 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

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