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is this wrong?

When my bil became engaged, his fiance asked me to be a bridesmaid. I said yes, because my dh was the best man. The bride mentioned that she was on the knot so I went on there to see what it was all about. I noticed the boards on there and checked to see if I could find her. I did (she wasn't very anonymous, she used her real name). I checked the board she used and was stunned by what I read. She wrote horrible things about me and dh. She said that I wasn't helping her (I live on the west coast and she lives on the east coast). Everything she wrote on there was lies. It really hurt me to read her posts.
We went to the wedding and it was horrible. The bride and groom were so drunk they got kicked out of their own reception. They left and partied at a hotel with her parents until dawn. Not what I would call a romantic wedding night!
Did I do wrong by 'spying' on her on the internet - or not? Is it even 'spying'?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • why worry about it now??

    Answer by ZaTa at 11:52 AM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Not exactly spying. She told you she was on there so you went and looked. It's not like you scoured the internet looking for bridal sites for her so you could see what she was saying or not saying.

    But really like ZaTa says...Why worry about it now? It's done and over with and she really sounds dense. Everyone at the wedding saw who/what they were. They were kicked out of their own reception which is really disgusting if you ask me.

    I would limit your contact with her to family functions and if she asks for help decline. If she presses for an answer why feel free to be straight up with her "Because I read what you really think of me and it's clear you wouldn't appreciate my help."

    But for now let sleeping dogs lie and go live your life.

    Answer by madamekatekate at 12:16 PM on Mar. 13, 2009


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • no its not wrong that you checked to see what she was doing she shouldn't have posted it on the internet if she didn't want you to know. What she did on the other hand was very wrong if it were me i'd ask for an apology because hey you were bridesmaid you didnt just have to go but you did and she should respect that. GOOD LUCK.

    Answer by newmom10408 at 12:57 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I'm not worried about it, maybe just feeling guilty.

    I wish that I would have asked this question while I was doing it - I feel like I've been validated and I would have felt more comfortable confronting her. :)

    Maybe someday the wedding conversation will come up and I'll have my chance to let her know that I read all her rude comments about me and dh.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

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