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Do you think its disrespectful for my childrens aunt to make plans with one of her friends that involves my children without asking me first?

If so what do you think I should do about it?

 
soonmommyof3

Asked by soonmommyof3 at 12:02 PM on Mar. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 11 (634 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Well, if you know the mother who wants your child over and trust her it's up to you whether or not your daughter goes.

    But since your SIL (I'm guessing in law.) feels free to volunteer them for things....Well, you need to have a talk with her about that. She needs to know that anything your children do that YOU are the first person to ASK. Tell her if she can't respect that then her contact with your children may have to be minimal. She'll most likely get all huffy puffy mad about it but that's her fault.

    And if anything like this happens again, just don't let your child go. Make her look like the fool.
    madamekatekate

    Answer by madamekatekate at 12:21 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Most likely, yes.

    What exactly happened? I can't tell you much else since I don't know what happened.

    Don't freak out just yet--She may have just said somethng absentmindedly thinking you wouldn't care. If she did it on purpose, make it clear to her that anything your children do/attend has to be run by you FIRST before committing to it. You're their mother and they clearly don't do anyting without your permisssion.
    madamekatekate

    Answer by madamekatekate at 12:05 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Yes, I do think it is disrespectful. First ,do you or your kids know this person that she made the plans with? Is is a "date" with a man with kids? An outing with a friend with kids? Does this person have kids and if not why do they want to hang out with yours? Does this Aunt regualrly do things with your kids? There are a lot of things that I would want to know about this situation. If it is something you would have let her do if she'd asked you first, let her, BUT tell her you're in the future you want to be consulted first. If you wouldn't let her do if she asked you then DEFINITELY DON't let her do it now, then she'll think she can just do whatever she wants and not realize she did something wrong. I just would not be ok with this.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:09 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • she responded to a ? one of her friends asked about my eldest daughter and said the my youngest could stay at her house so her friends step daughter and my daughter could play, though none of them have asked me if my children could do any of this. and yes she done it on purpose, she has in the past underminded me when it comes to my kids.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:09 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • i would tell her you'd like to know about things like that before hand. maybe she was asked by someone and agreed to it not thinking you would mind. when anyone takes my kid i like to know where all they will be going and who's going to be there.
    BubbysMom208

    Answer by BubbysMom208 at 12:11 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • budda, yes I would have let her, if she asked first.... Im still going to, but I asked her to ask me first next time before making promises to her friends, and yes I know her friend.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:12 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I would definitely not let my kids sleep over a strangers house. I wouldn't let your kids do that, if thier Aunt doesn't respect and is trying to undermine. Let you're kids hang out wwith thier own friends they probably won't even want to sleep over someones house just to entertain thier Aunts freinds step daughter.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:14 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • how does she even know the kids will get along? i wouldnt be happy with that at all.
    BubbysMom208

    Answer by BubbysMom208 at 12:14 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • i guess the most appropriate response would have been " well i'll ask my niece and her mom and i'll let you know sometime".
    BubbysMom208

    Answer by BubbysMom208 at 12:19 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • okay, I see some are confused. I know the kid my daughter is going to play with, they have played together before, I know my SIL friend. sis-in-law is my daughters aunt. The only person I don't know well is My SIL friends husband, but i trust her friend. I know her pretty well. Its just that my SIL told her this wilthout asking me first. I could have had plans with my kids during spring break..... I have already told her that I don't mind that they do this, just need to ask me first. Im sure its going to cause a stink, cuz they didnt ask me, but my friend kassi witch is my SIL friend sister, asked me first if my girls could stay with her sometime during spring break. See I already told her yes.... I trust kassi with my kids more then my SIL and her sister. I hope I didnt confuse you more!lol.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:25 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

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