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i cant help but still be afraid

So my dd will be 9mos on the 21st of this month and im still scared. Im terrified i will lose her to SIDS still!!! I have since put a fan on in the bedroom. I half co sleep. SHe starts in her pack n play and ends most nights with me. I have a kingsize bed that i feel i have babyproofed best i can in that situation, guardrails on the side, its just me and her, no blankets for either of us.....anyone have any advice and ease of mind to help me with this. I cant help but check on her every 30 min at night (and at naptime)please ladies im absolutely petrified.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Please please please dont think I'm trying to be rude because in no way shape or form.. I am a 19 year old first time mom and I was just as scared as you are.. So I went to my OB about it. This is what she told me and I remember it everytime I feel this way(DS is 6 months old)
    She said.. If you child is going to die of SID's they are going to die of SID's there is no way to predict it and no way to stop it no matter what you do. Its pre-chosen by someone more powerful then us. And If you spend all your time with your child worring about these things you will never enjoy your child. So take it day by day and just enjoy every smile,every laugh,every stinky diaper (lol) and if he wants another little angle and yours is the one he choses then so be it you enjoyed the time you had.
    I know it sounds really harsh but I remember this everyday and it's what keeps me from driving myself crazy about SID's.. Hope this helps

    Answer by TristansMommy16 at 10:37 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • my advice is talk to your doc about anxiety

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:01 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • i am currently speaking to a therapist about it.....thanks for trying to help in your own condescending way though

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I did the same thing I never slept when my children were babies....I always checked on them and i was to scared to put them in the bed with me...So what i did was move my bed all the way against the wall put my dh at the wall and i slept on the outter part of the bed....but imoved her crib all the way up against the bed and put my hand through the things and felt her breath that way i knew she was still alive and id lay there and listen for her to breath and watch and it gave me piece of mind...PRAYING is a GREAT thing to do...its normal and you are going to be my kids are 4 3 and 2 and i still check to make sure they are breathing

    Answer by BBKMommy at 8:03 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I agree with mommy. At her age it isn't really a worry because she can move easily and would not get stuck. I would be more worried about her rolling out of bed!

    Answer by kboney29 at 8:04 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Is there any reason for you to be so petrified? At nine months your child is really out of the "risk" group for SIDS. If you have a healthy 9 month old, you really have nothing to worry about. However, your obvious lack of sleep is probably making it harder for you to think rationally.

    There's nothing wrong with cosleeping with a 9 month old, but if your sole reason is to prevent SIDS, then you really don't need to be so paraniod.

    Answer by lifetimelove at 8:04 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • The reason i am scared is because when i was 15 my older brother passed away (he was 21) of a sudden heart attack so it has me scared that since something happened to him it can happen to my precious dd.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • we never co slept.. so i cant relate on that end.. i know that in one of my baby books after about 9 months, its no longer S.I.D.S. it has another name for it.. but i think maybe if you try moving her to her own bed.. and start with a routine with her there, that will help with some of your anxiety.. our son has slept in his own bed since he was 5 weeks old, and for the first few weeks i would wake up and check on him.. and now, whenever one of us goes to the bathroom or whathave you, we check on him. Once our babies become rollers there is nothing to prevent them from rolling or getting onto their tummys. I think I would want to see about moving her to her own bed, or before you know it, you have a 5 year old who is so attached and clingy to you that they dont even want to be with friends or other family members... there is nothing wrong with co sleeping, i just dont know where you draw the line..age wise that is..

    Answer by sweetscrappin at 8:10 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I have to agree with mommymeg but I'm honestly not trying to be condescending. I myself have anxiety issues that I should probably see a doctor about, so I'm saying this out of experience. PPs are right though, you really have nothing to worry about anymore. I still check on my 7 month old and the thought of SIDS still goes through my head but my mind has been more at ease, especially since he hit the 6 month mark which decreases the risk by something like 95 percent. His crib is right next to our bed so I can watch him breathe without having to move and that helps a lot! It's a mommy's right to worry but it shouldn't still be to the point that you are losing sleep. Besides, you don't want to pass the anxiety trait on to your baby! I know that from experince too lol.

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 8:23 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I do the SAME thing and my DD is two! I also have a Newborn and we ALL Co-sleep for this reason!!

    Answer by Mrs.Smith84 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 13, 2009