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how do i deal with my oldest graduation

my oldest son is graduation high school in june and will be going to college in boston in sept. alot will be changing in both our lives. josh will be moving to boston from a small town in maine. i have done everything for him, now he will have to do things on his own. this scares me. what will i do without him here. so much is changing i thing i am more scared then he is. how do i deal with this. he is not my little boy anymore. i want things to stay the way they are and also want him to do great. what is a mom to do

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (12)
  • You pat yourself on the back,for a job well done mom.I have already sent one to college,she has a few months more to finish her R.N ,and my youngest is graduating this june,and will start College in the fall,to start on her teaching degree.so I will have an emty nest.It is hard to see them go,but knowing you have raised them,and they are starting their life in the real world.well ,it's a bitter sweet feeling,Ok I'm gonna cry! It will be Ok.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 11:04 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Try to remember how you felt at that age--I was so eager to get on with life!!!!! And remember--it is ok for you to feel the way you do but don't expect him to feel that way--he is the son getting on with life:-) Let him!!! Hopefully you didn't do "too much" for him and he can take care of himself. AND know how much easier lettinga son go to college than to the Armed Forces and deployment. What I wouldn't give to have mine at college!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • You know what, Its perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling. If you were jumping up and down waiting for it to hurry up and get here, then I would say, you aren't much of a mom, but, you are a good mom and its not easy letting go for a little while. My youngest is in college and I miss her like no tomorrow, but, I know she is doing a good thing.Take the time from now til June to have fun with your son and do things together if you can.You are right you are more scared, but, believe it or not, so is he but he won't tell you.Make sure he knows how to do certain things(washing clothes for instance). You keep busy after he leaves. I won't say don't cry, because its pointless. It will take time after he leaves, but, I promise it will be ok. The days get better, and then boom, he's home on break and your noise is home again☺....Just so you know, he will always be your little boy!
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:25 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Try to remember that being a mom is not about raising children. it is about raising adults. Your job is to get him to adulthood safe and sound. If he doesn't know how to do his own laundry put him in charge of that right away. And make sure he can at least make Ramen noodles and mac and cheese. This one is almost done, pat yourself on the back, and maybe take up a hobby.  Time to move on the the "you're not just my mom you are my friend stage."

    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 6:38 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Congratulations! My son is graduating also, and it is scary!
    I liked what the other poster mentioned about being his friend. I used to tell him all the time that I will be his friend later but for now I am being his parent. I am scared, but looking forward to this next stage too! I guess we gave them wings, and now we have to let them fly!
    4kidsandadog

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 11:11 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Pretend he's going to band camp or any other short term situation. He's not leaving forever. By the time you get the house cleaned up he'll be back for the holidays. Soon after that he'll be back for summer By that time you will have adjusted and started telling him not to come home for holidays! Life is full of change and adjustments. Just like you had to adjust when he came into your home you will adjust to him transitioning out of it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:13 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Good job, Mom!! He wants to go to school & get a degree, that's great!! It will be hard when he leaves, BTDT.. I would be teaching him how to do his own laundry, though, if he doesn't already. Teach him the basics & you will feel better about him taking care of himself, that's what mom's are for... to get them ready for the real world. He will know your door is always open, if he needs anything & trust me he will. LOL
    dorothyn22

    Answer by dorothyn22 at 11:07 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • YOU ARE NOW EXPERIENCES THE GREATEST CHALLENGE OF ALL FOR MOST PARENTS, LETTING GO. WE NURTURE FOR MANY YEARS, AND THEN WE MUST LET THEM SPREAD THEIR WINGS AND FLY AND HOPE THAT ALL WE TRIED TO TEACH THEM HAS SUNK IN. WE MUST STAND BY AND WATCH AS THEY MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES, ALWAYS NEAR ENOUGH TO PICK UP THE PIECES.

    THIS GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE IS THE MOST WONDERFUL LEARNING EXPERIENCE HE WILL HAVE,LEARNING TO BE SELF SUFFICIENT, IS NOT TAUGHT AT ANY ONE CLASS.

    YOU INSTILL IN HIM THE IMPORTANCE OF AN EDUCATION AND THAT IN ITSELF IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:44 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I gone through this last june,but my son didn't go to college he went on a vacation to his drunken dads.He needs to go to GROW and take care of himself,I used to worry to all the time but we can't hold them back to make us happy.
    lawla

    Answer by lawla at 9:20 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • That is a blessing, be thankful that he wants to go to college away from home. All the things that you taught him will come rushing back to him when he needs them the most. Mothers are wonderful.
    meb3

    Answer by meb3 at 2:27 PM on Mar. 19, 2009

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