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Is there anyone in this group who either adopted through Cafe Mom or knows anyone who has already done so? We are wishing to adopt privately as opposed to an agency since we lost a lot through the agencies and found that they were not on the up and up with things.


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Asked by Cath88 at 11:07 PM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Agencies are all about making money and you as the prospective adoptive parents are the cash cow. The poor unfortunate woman in crisis pregnancy that wanders through thier doors are the golden goose. Adoption lawyers are reputedly even worse.

    If you want a reputable adoption, the best way to go is through the Foster system where there is less money to be made on the trade of children. Good luck.


    Answer by onethentwins at 2:14 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • We adopted privately so if you have any questions and I can help then I will gladly do so. You can just message me.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 9:37 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Congratulations on your decision to adopt! It is an amazing roller coaster ride, so hang on! Have you thought of international adoption of a child that waits?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Thanks to all of you nice women who wish me well and for giving advice. We started out some years ago, and have tried fostering, hoping that we may have been able to adopt one of them, if they became available. However, each child returned to her/his home and we were quite heartbroken and still love them, and pray for them each day.

    I agree that the agenices are just taking way over the amount of money that is needed to perform an adoption -- we know first hand that some do not have good intentions and only want the expectant mom and prospective a.parents for the mere reason of padding their pockets thickly.

    That's why we are wishing so much (and praying every day) to meet a mom here on the Cafe, one who had made a plan for her child to be adopted. I really hope this happens, and don't want to give up because the desire to love nurture this child grows stronger in my heart, each day.


    Cathy : )

    Answer by Cath88 at 10:56 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I also highly recommend going through the foster care system. My husband and I did, as well as a number of our friends. If you want the particulars of our situation, feel free to contact me.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 10:57 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Not all agencies are that good but some are very very good. It just depends on the agency. Just like not every lawyer who does adoption is all that great and some are. You just have to do your research to find out which lawyer or agency is right for you. You can do all the leg work yourself. You can contact and find an expectant mother yourself, even do some of the legal paper work yourself. It isn't rocket science. But eventually you will want to find an attorney that will represent you in court.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • "You can contact and find an expectant mother yourself, even do some of the legal paper work yourself."

    Personally, I think THAT is a very poor idea to FIND and contact an expectant mom and offer to adopt her baby. There are many children already legally adoptable. I think it is morally wrong to go looking for an expectant mom. I think the best way to achieve an ethical adoption is to find a child that is already legally adoptable.

    Answer by Southernroots at 6:06 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I know that not all agencies or lawyers are reputable, but it makes me feel sick to my stomach to see posts suggesting that all agencies in are the baby trade business. When a long-time drug addict makes the decision to place a child for adoption, shouldn't she be able to make this free choice? Meth addicts have about a 6% chance of getting clean and staying clean. Is it better to wait for the child to go through something horrible and be taken away by CPS so that the adoption can be through the foster system?

    I realize that there are a lot of hurting women who post on this forum, and you are in my prayers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Thanks! We will continue to search and hopefully will connect with an expectant mom who has made an adoption plan. We pray that she will love us as much as we will love her and her baby! Our hearts are in the right place and we plan to give this child sooooo much love, and provide a safe and happy home.

    We did try to foster to adopt route, for over 4 years, and no longer do this. We thank God that he gave us the opportunity to care for these children during the time when their parents were not able to care for them, for whatever the reason/s may have been.

    My husband and I will not give up and know it will happen when God wants it to be.

    Thanks for all your advice, answers, good wishes!!


    Answer by Cath88 at 11:26 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

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