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Losing friends..

I am 19 and 33 weeks pregnant with twins..I have always had tons of friends but since I got pregnant its like no one wants to be a part of my life anymore. Just because I can't do the things they do like party and stuff. I am totally fine with that I have my babies and family and finace. I have kept a handful of close, good friends but I was hosptialized recently for about a week and not one friend came to see me. I barely got any texts or phone calls either..I am so mad at them for some reason and now when they call or text I just don't want to answer. Do I have the right to be mad? Or am I being selfish? I feel as if I am but at the same time I don't need fake friends who only want to be friends when its convenient to them..advice??

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Asked by twinmommy2009 at 11:32 PM on Mar. 13, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I feel for you, I would be mad too I would just let them know how you feel and they will take from it what they want and see where it goes from there... off subject but im having twins too!!

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 11:35 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • I went through this. It's nothing. I've always been popular however once I couldn't hang out with the friends I had they no longer wanted to be part of my life. I said oh well and kept it moving. It's nothing to me. Some of these same people I have known since grade school or high school. They do their thing I do mines. I don't club anymore and they don't bother to call. When I had surgery not one of them showed up or called. But guess what? My family and Husband was right there by my side and to me that is what mattered.

    Leave them be

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:37 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Yay!! You are? How far along are you? Boys? Girls? Isn't it so exciting having 2?!?!

    Answer by twinmommy2009 at 11:37 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • Life changes as we change. You have the right to be hurt, but I'm not so sure about mad. I don't think you are selfish at all.  The friends may not know how to connect with what you are going though. Give them a little time as they grow up. You have to remember you are going through changes to (not to mention hormones) and that makes it seem like you are swimming against the current at times. Keep close with the good friends. I'm sure the others will come around. Life always changes and sometimes it is hard to go with that flow. In a few weeks you won't have time to worry--just 2 wonderful babies! Try asking a friend to lunch or a movie. If you do that you connect, and can talk.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 11:38 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • You have been on the fast track to maturity. Your friends are still at the starting gate.

    I suggest finding more mature friends, possibly at play groups for your child.

    Answer by timelessglass at 11:42 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • It's hard when your life is changing and your friends are in a different place. I was getting married and having kids and all my friends were going out and partying and just being whatever. I lost some friendships but have kept a few and they are just fine. I've made friends with women I have things in common with.
    As far as when you were in the hospital it's hard for some people to know how to act in situations like that. I wouldn't be too hard on them just say to your good friends that you wished they could have been there. I never know what to say to someone who's hurting. It's a very uncomfortable and akward situation for me and I'm trying to work on it.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:45 PM on Mar. 13, 2009

  • i completely know how yu feel im 19 too and not to sound conceited but i was popular in school and i lost a lot of friends when i had my son and got married ...its because they arent mature enough to understand being a parent you need friends that are young mothers like you me

    Answer by mamaschroeder7 at 12:12 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • It's going to be tough with friends like this.. most like to showly seperate themselves because they know you have responsibilities now, and don't want to drag you into their drama and partying, others are ready to handle moving up and becaming resposible. This is okay.. you are young and will make new friends.. when your older friends start having kids.. they sometimes come back into your life, because they now have an understanding that they didn't have anymore.. I know it's tough, and yes you have the right to be mad in some sences, but you have to look at this from both angles.. if you were still single and baby free, would you be able to hang with a friend that was tied down with a baby?

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:55 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • People have lives outside of being with you for one..
    Second..if they were your real friends they would care enough to call..but then again, did they even know that you were hospitalized? You get what I'm saying?
    My friends don't talk to me at all..but then again, they don't have kids and don't want any either. so..take what you can get. It's a good time to start new friendships with people on the same boat..Not only will you have some deserving friends but maybe even be able to make play dates with them to better your children's chances of being as social as you are..which is good!! He he. ^__^

    Answer by PrimeRib at 3:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

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