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Molestation question...

About 7 years ago, I walked in on my younger brother, who was about 12 at the time, with his hand up my 6 yo daughters dress. I freaked out, yelled at him, told my parents, and left their house. We told the child protective services who suggested counseling after their investigations, and from that point on, we never let the two of them be alone together again. Now, my duaghter is almost 14 and has been acting out very sexually, and I've asked her if more ever happened between her and my brother that I should know about? She firmly says no and carries on, but why is she so sexual? What do you think and what should I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • She's 14, and these days that's when kids are starting their sexual curiousity. It doesn't mean she was forced into something more. Her hormones are going crazy and now's when she needs to know your there for her. Talk to her about sex and educate her about STD's and pregnancy.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 2:11 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Oh, and don't judge her or accuse her of anything.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 2:11 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I know that the after-affects of molestation can last a lifetime. My first thought was--"she's almost 14--and just now discovering her sexuality--I don't believe that the one encounter would cause her to react so much as her hormones racing would. But on second thought, hmmm, it may just be that it had a more profound effect on her than you even know or she is even aware of, consciously. Would more counseling open up a can of worms? Cause her to rebel? That's a hard call to make. I am so sorry your family had to go through this. I don't know what to advise, but my prayers are with you. .
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 2:21 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • That is a tough question in today's society!
    njt320

    Answer by njt320 at 11:04 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Based on what I know from dealing with people very close to me in life and all of the subsequesnt research I have done, I don't ever think there is an incidence of molestation too small, to create life changing effects. Not everyone responds the same way, some because of temperament and personality are sometimes even more sensitive and susceptible to negative effects. There is no way to know for sure, without having your daughter go through some counseling. People who were never touched, but exposed to inappropriate things (nudity, others engaging in sex, porn) or those who are victims of "emotional incest" When I  a parent  Cont'd

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 2:04 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • treats a child like a spouse or lover in every way such as how they talk to them, sharing intimate adult details, etc. can develope problems similar to the kind that people who were molested develope. I'm only saying this because they are possiblities. I don't ever think therapy can hurt. I would take her to a therapist that specializes in dealing with female molestation victims; an expert will be able to tell pretty easily if this is just her emerging sexuality or a symptom of unresloved abuse issues. I wish you all the best. I hope that helps, somewhat.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 2:09 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • If that was going to cause her to explore her sexuality it would have happened sooner. I was molested from the time I was in third grade until fifth grade and the whole time I was obsessed with anything sexual. If that were the problem I think you would have noticed something a lot sooner.
    theosgirl45

    Answer by theosgirl45 at 7:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • well not only at that age do the whole hormones and puberty come into place ; but when your molested (well for me anyways) i felt as if i needed more ; like for instance growing up i always felt like i was worthless to everyone because of what my step father did to me . so whenever a guy made me seem "important" or wanted i reacted (not sexuallythough) but until i finally got the help i needed i didnt even realize that i was running to any guy who would show me affection . so for her to be acting out very sexually it could just be the hormones or she could be emotionally scarred as i was .

    if you want to know more feel free to contact me .

    and im sorry - its very upsetting to hear .
    colbysmommie95

    Answer by colbysmommie95 at 2:40 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Maybe nothing further did happen and she just wants to fit in with her friends
    Aimee789135

    Answer by Aimee789135 at 3:49 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • at fourteen I was getting laid like 3 times a week by my boyfriend, I never was molested, 13 year olds are doing the dirty 14 year olds are pros now. I HATE that I did what I did at that young age, but I can not take it back. She is probably telling you the truth about your bother, just leave it be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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