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I was just wondering if any other moms out there had moments where they regreted having their child?

It sounds aweful, I know but I have a two week old and find myself wishing I had never got pregnant to begin with. It wasn't planned and I refused to abort so I just accepted it but now I have moments where I cry and wish I never had her. It makes me feel terrible because she deserves all the love and best care she can receive but when she fusses for hours the stress of it nearly kills me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (18)
  • It sounds like you're suffering with Post Partum Depression. It's nothing to be ashamed of but you should really consider going to the doctor about it. You may need some medication to help cope, at least to get through the first few months. It's not easy being a new mom, especially when you're feeling depressed. I really urge you to seek some help, even if its just counselling. It will get better. Just wait til your daughter smiles and laughs for the first time. It'll all be worth it. Good luck!
    Elijahsmommy9

    Answer by Elijahsmommy9 at 2:15 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • To this day I feel that way, and my daughter is 5 and a half months old. I love her so much though, I can't imagine her now being here now that she exists.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I have never been pregnant, but it sounds like you might have a case of post partum depression. Babies are stressful and needy little creatures and they can suck the life right out of you, especially when your body is trying to adjust to all the major changes and your life is turned upside down and inside out. You should talk to your doctor about it, and if family/friends offer to help, take the help. If they don't offer, don't be afraid to ask.

    And contrary to popular belief, not everyone falls "in love at first sight" with their baby, sometimes it takes a while. It's normal. I can't speak from experience, but I know a lot of moms so I am speaking of the knowledge I've gained from them.
    JC4everMommy

    Answer by JC4everMommy at 2:20 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I don't know if I would use the word "regret", but there have definitely been times that I wonder what I was thinking when my husband and I agreed to try to get pregnant. I have a chronic pain disorder from damaged nerves in my spine that has been very difficult to treat, and getting pregnant made it many many times worse than it was before. My daughter is 10 months old now, and about 6 weeks ago I finally saw my doctor for depression (from multiple causes, including pain, PPD, and stress)--she put me on a very light dose of an antidepressant, and I have to say that I feel much more balanced from day to day now. No more wild mood swings, and I feel like I am actually able to enjoy each day with my daughter.

    I guess I just want you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do, and that it is important for YOUR health to be evaluated in case there IS something that you can do to feel better. Good luck!
    littlejreece

    Answer by littlejreece at 2:23 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I never regretted having my son. But for about 3 weeks or so after having him I was terriblely depressed. I kept looking at him like omg I cant do this, and I would cry all the time, and was freaking out about every little thing like I was going to mess everything up. This is completely normal. Its called the baby blues. Some people get it confused with post-pardom. The baby blues often go away within a month. If you are thinking about harming yourself or your child, or if the depression doesnt get better, then you need to get to the doctor. Almost every mom goes through the baby blues and many get the more severe case of post pardom. The first month is the hardest. Your hormones are off the wall, and theres this huge responsibility that is all you every day for the rest of your life. Its scary. Please seek help if you need it. It is very common. Mine went away, and my son is the best thing that has ever happend to me.
    ashtonjames

    Answer by ashtonjames at 3:59 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Some things I can recomend is try to get out of your house. Even if its just to the store or something. Get a sitter if theres no daddy involved, and get out of the house for a bit. Invite company over even if you dont really feel like company. It will help you. Try to get someone to help you out with cleaning, or to watch the baby so you can get some sleep. The lack of sleep has a lot to do with it also.If you would like you talk to can message me. But seriously if you are thinking of harming yourself or the baby seek help. If not just try to somethings to help you get some rest and try and cheer up. Things will get better. And if not the docs can give you medicine to help. Good luck hun.
    ashtonjames

    Answer by ashtonjames at 4:02 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I agree. It is probably PSD... To overcome this, I suggest asking someone to keep the baby for a few hours and go out for a while... be with friends or family... (better is friends)... Have a good time.  Then come home and spend a lot of play time with the baby.  Hug, hold, kiss, sing to her.   Been there, done that, got over it and moved on.... Now, my kids are all grown up and taking care of me!  Today, there's more stuff to keep our minds occupied and sharp than there was when I was growing up, but even then, PSD was bad....


    Also, there are herbs to help... Dong Quai comes to mind.  It really helped me when I was going through PSD.  And it's a great herb for regulating female hormones.  Try It!   My husband says the way to remember it is that Dong Quai makes the female Don't Cry. lol...  Hope you feel better.

    Cica

    Answer by Cica at 8:37 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Never, I love my son and would never regret having him. He is my life and the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is 8 months old now and I love every moment i have with him
    Renni

    Answer by Renni at 9:16 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I felt the same you did when my daughter was that age. I feel do bad for you because I was there once and it's a horrible feeling but you just can't help it. I ended up going to my midwife and telling her about my feelings cause they were getting worse and she put me on Zoloft because I had PPD. My daughter is now 3 1/2 months old and I love her so much and can't stand being away from her. Don't worry you will get better. Just go talk to your dr asap. Feel free to email me kaitlyn.Altman@gmail.com. These feelings WILL go away you just might need a little help with it.
    Kaitlyn0816

    Answer by Kaitlyn0816 at 9:51 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • just remember that babys can feel what you are feeling and that may be why she cries for hours,
    we all go through moments of severe stress, just try really hard to feel the love when you hold her and remember she didnt choose to be here, maybe someone in your family could help you out until you get through this, what a blessing the lord has givin you! Believe me the good times are way more then the bad. Good luck and god bless you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

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