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what is wrong with a husband being head of household?

i see alot of moms and wives on here that completly disagree with obeying thier husband. the bible says to obey your husband and in return your husband should love and take care of you. so i take this as if my husband is loving and taking care of me and my family why would he ask me to or not to do things that are unreasonable. or if you married someone who couldnt make the decisions and run your household why would you have done that? i just dont understand why some people are maried these days. even if you dont believe in the bible its well known that men are rulers and women are submissive (im not speaking for all but the majority) my husband wouldnt ask me to do something that wasnt in the best interest of my family or myself or wouldnt ask me not to do something that i enjoy unless i was hurting myself or my family. because he is a good husband and takes care of us and i trust him to know the best for my family.

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adamalory

Asked by adamalory at 5:17 AM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (26)
  • My husband is a good one too and takes care of us very well, however I believe I know what's best for us as a family. We don't believe in the Bible so that bit doesn't apply. We both have strengths and weaknesses so we try to compromise and cover each other.
    krisr169

    Answer by krisr169 at 5:27 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I believe that the man is the spiritual leader of the household, and he tends to take an overall leadership role, but my marriage is probably 40/60. I wouldn't say we're 50/50, because I tend to follow his lead majority of the time. But we make almost all of our decisions together, he asks me before spending money, we decide on what kind of a car, where we'd like to move, where we'd like to go out to eat, etc. all of those decisions are made together. Just because he has a penis doesn't mean that he automatically will make the best decisions. For example, he wants to buy a house, and he thinks a fixer upper would be good, however he's AD Navy and really doesn't have time to fix a house, and I don't want to be left alone with a half done house when he gets deployed, SO I have had to talk him out of it. He means to do what's best for our family, but he's only human.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 5:28 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Just out of curiosity, could you make it alone if your husband was out of the picture. Could you , by yourself handle all problems, be the one bringing in the money, being everything to your children.? could you do it all? I mean, I am in a 50/50 relationship with my husband, but, if something happened to him tomorrow, I would be ok, and so would my children. You can only depend on you in life. Sometimes he makes good decisions but so do I . His word isn't my law. Do I obey him, heck no. I am old enough to make my own decisions. I won't go around in life wondering if he will approve of me doing something.. Nah, thats not the way it should be!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • It's simple. Women are so worried about being "women" tney forget what it is to be a lady. They forget what it means to be a wife and mother. Traditional family values have gone out the window. They have to be strong and independent regardless if it makes their men feel less of a man. They have to show everyone including themselves they they don't "need" a man. They work so hard on cutting his family ties so they can be in control. So many complaining he puts his mother before them. It's really sad.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:07 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Because my marriage at least is about equality. We are equals. No one submits to the other. We talk about problems and come up with a solution that we both like. I trust my husband but I wouldn't trust him to be in charge of everything. He has no clue where his money goes or how to really deal with the boys solo or anything. I take care of the bills and watch the boys while he makes the money. I try to do the cooking and cleaning too but we are a partnership so he will sometimes do it. If we need or want something, like a new motorcycle, we sit down and talk about whether or not it is best for us. I tell hubby our financial situation and we discuss it. He does trust me to make the decision solo since I take care of finances but I don't feel comfortable doing that since we are equals. I value his opinion and want him to help me make a decision.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:11 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • My husband and I are a team. Neither one of us is the "ruler" and neither one is "submissive." We make major decisions together. We are equals. We both work hard for our family and we both love each other and our family very much. I honestly don't think that you can have a healthy relationship these days if you are completely submissive to your husband. Does he respect your opinion on matters? Are you unquestioning of him? The Bible may say it, but you have to take it into historical context. That was over 2,000 years ago. We have evolved as a society since then. If we did everything the way things were done in Biblical times we would not have an end to a lot of antiquated social contracts.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:35 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • The only thing at our house that should obey anything is our dog and children. I am my own person, I make my own money and plenty to support myself and children if that were ever to happen. A marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship where someone needs to obey their spouse, this is not 1950!

    lapcounter

    Answer by lapcounter at 10:47 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Perhaps because my husband was looking for a partner and not a servant. He would not have married me if I obeyed everything he said and I think he would have felt that I lacked personality. We replaced the work "OBEY" in our vows with "RESPECT".

    We both handle tasks: cook, clean, laundry, decisions, money, kids.... we work more like a 50/50 partnership and not like he is my boss. We have a great friendship because of this. And because we are not so worried about what a man/woman is 'supposed' to do we get to use our strengths....Like he is a better cook that I am and I am better at hooking up the cable box.

    IMO... you are coming off kind of harsh saying those of us who do not live like you are not ladies, good moms, ect. The point is to find balance and love in your relationship, in whatever form that takes. You way is no more right or wrong than mine. Or even marriage where wife rules the house.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 11:21 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • It's simple. Women are so worried about being "women" tney forget what it is to be a lady. They forget what it means to be a wife and mother. Traditional family values have gone out the window. They have to be strong and independent regardless if it makes their men feel less of a man."

    Please....my husband is a strong, confident man. It would take a lot more than me having an opinion to undermine his "manhood". He loves that I am strong and independent. That I can take care of business and don't have to rely on him for everything.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 11:29 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Perhaps because my husband was looking for a partner and not a servant

    Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! My husband would have been bored out of his skull if I were some wilting wallflower looking for someone to 'take care of me' while I stared at his manliness in awe. Are you talking financial terms, OP? Because my dh is the main income in our home but he would never use it to lord over me in any way. He would also be very frustrated if he had to tell me what to do or what to think. One of the things he loves about me is my mind and the way I think and my spirit and fire. Also, as for women not being rulers...you need a history lesson because there have been MANY fierce, wonderful female rulers throughout history. Also, this family belongs to BOTH of us so we make the decisions together...we are responsible for this family. We work as a team. We've been married 10yrs and so far so good!
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 12:17 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

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