Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you teach your child to hit back?

Hi All: I'm a reporter doing a story on hitting back. If your kid gets hit by another kid, what would your kid do? Are you okay with that response? Did you teach your child to hit back? When you respond, please let me know how old your child is. I will not be using your names for this article, unless you tell me it's okay.

Answer Question

Asked by SusanMama at 6:22 AM on Mar. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • I've always told my kids to NOT HIT BACK. Now that my son is 6 and has to do aftercare with a bunch of 11 year olds, I still tell him not to hit back. There is an 11 year old that has hurt him before and he has defended himself, he will not be punished for defending himself especially when the teacher stands by him saying it was necessary. Hoping to get him into an afterschool program that puts him with his own age.

    Answer by super_mommy4 at 6:42 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • i teach my kids to defend their self because in a world like today they need to learn how to defend themselves againt all the people in the world...I don't neccasarily teach them to hit back all of the time...if conflict cant be avoided then you need to know how to defend yourself..its my job to take care of my kids and when they get older they are going to have to learn how to take care of themselves..there is also the talk before teaching my child to defend themselfs like about avoiding conflict how to deal with bullying children and how and how not to treat your peers.
    Use my name i dont care lol cause i seriously feel in the days and time now this is how i want my kids to be...not mean not a bully try to avoid conflicts but if it comes down to it know how to defend yourself.

    Answer by BBKMommy at 7:12 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I have two kids.10 and 12. Until they got to JR. High, they were taught not to hit back. since the schools in our area tend to have a lot of violence, I have now given my permission to hit back. I also informed the school. Daughter knows that whomever hits her has to have been serious before she can hit back. I taught them what I was taught. You don't start a fight, but you damn sure finish it.

    Answer by anorman08 at 7:20 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • i don't know that i really "taught" my kids to fight back.. or maybe I did.
    It was always an understanding that if someone was picking on you and you have a chance to walk away and let an adult know - to do that first. But if it persisted - or you can not walk away - defend yourself. That doesn't mean you have to hurt the other kid..but get your point across that you will not be picked on.
    This past week - it was put to the test.
    My 5yr old kindergartener was getting smacked on the bus by an 11 yr old 5th grader. He told him to leave him alone, or he would tell. The kid kept picking on him, so my 5 year old dove onto his lap - and started hitting him repeatedly, and yelling for his older brother who is 12. My older son got up - told my 5 year old to sit down, and told the kid to leave his brother alone or else. The kid then came after him. My kid only raised his arms to block the punches being thrown. and .. cont.

    Answer by 4xmommy2008 at 9:10 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • The bus driver finally notices and tells all the kids to chill out - and MY 12 year old gets in trouble. WHAT ??? The other kid told the driver that my 12 year old started it back smacking him in the head.. and that he was defending HIMself. I had to call the school and tell them what ALL had happened, to get my kid out of a punishment. The strange thing - they have video on the bus - but did not review it, and just told me that if my child was in any further physical confrontations - he was would lose his riding privilege.


    Answer by 4xmommy2008 at 9:16 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I do not teach to hit back, but I teach to defend themselves. If that involves hitting well then ok. But only if they were struck first! Like one mom said you don't start a fight but you damn well finish it. That's how I was brought up, and DH as well.

    Answer by wilesmomma at 9:26 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • We have always told my son to walk away if possible and if not then defend yourself. When he was in 7th grade he was having problems with a kid bothering him daily this kid would walk by and shove him into lockers or hit him for NO reason at all! He tried going to the teachers in the hall, talking to the guidance counselor and the principle, I even called the school and told them this was becoming a big problem, they told me there was really nothing they could do about it refused to even review the videos that are taken DAILY in the hallways so finally I told my son "If the adults are not going to help you the next time he starts in kick his a$$" I got a call the next day that my son was being suspended even though they knew it was self-defense! Now that he is 16 we point out the stories in the news about kids being charged with assault for defending them selves against bullies and tell him that he needs to make choices CONT

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:43 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • My kids are taught to defend themselves and not allow themselves to be used as anyone's punching bag.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:44 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • CONT>>
    based on the worst possible outcome. It's tough now to deal with this because you don't want your kid getting beat up, but you also know that they face punishment from the school or the law if they lay their hands on another kid even in self defense. My son wants to go to a good college, if he gets suspended again or gets charged with a crime that may not happen. Yet if he is in a situation where he cannot walk away he will have to fight back to avoid getting really hurt.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:47 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • So far we've taught that you don't hit back...but they're still little and mostly they hit each other so we're still working on not to hit period. LOL Once their older, I will support them defending themselves.

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:48 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.