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why does age matter?

Why do some moms think that younger moms are not good moms? I had my first when I was 19, i have three now and i'm 24. If someone can devote themselves to thier children, why does it matter how old they are? There are moms out in this world that are much older than I am, that don't do a good job. I think it is unfair for moms to assume that just because of someones age it makes them incapable, and inexperienced.


Asked by Rachel24517 at 11:19 AM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (9)
  • Wow! I'm an older mom now...but have never felt that about young moms. It's a joy to me to watch younger gals running and playing with fun and energy that a lot of us older moms just don't have. There are special things about being an older mom too. Due to infertility, we didn't get started until a bit later than we had hoped, and sometimes I've noticed, as I get older that I'm more patient...but I have to work really hard to be more playful. Don't let others' opinions have any effect on how much you love and enjoy and treasure these years! Just hug those little buddies you have and rejoice in your time together!

    Answer by TeaAnderson at 11:28 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I've heard a lot of mom's say that the 'younger' mom's got 'knocked-up' as teens because they wanted a baby or wanted to stay with the guy they were with etc, and some do, but I think the majority of teens it's accidental and they had no intentions of getting pregnant. It's 2009 and kids are doing it more than ever, and the age is getting lower and lower with time. I don't look down on anyone who tries to be a good parent, but I wish people would educate them more, then again, it seems like even with them being educated on it, they still do it.

    Answer by PinkDiamond717 at 11:25 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I got pregnant when I was 17, and I feel that young mom's are inexperienced and incapable of giving a baby all that he needs. If you can't even graduate high school easily than you shouldn't have a baby. And even if you do go to college than your still going to struggle. You should wait. And you, shouldn't have anymore babies. Young mothers are stastically more likely to live under the poverty line and to have to get on goverment assistance, which i've noticed is true.

    Answer by sarapurser at 11:31 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I am 42 with a 9 year old and I feel very old around mom's of kids my son's age. I don't look down on younger mothers. I saw one the other day at the bank and her daughter looked great, she was talking and having a good time with her daughter. her daughter was walking around a little and she never took her eyes off her daughter. I know someone is going to say she shouldn't have let her daughter do that but we live in a small area and there were not alot of people there so she could see her the entire time. I have also allowed my son to do it when he was that age.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 11:46 AM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • If someone can devote themselves to thier children, why does it matter how old they are?

    Because those who can and will are the exception. Your brain isn't wired that way. The human brain does not reach maturity until around 25. Until then, all adolescents are prone to more impulsive and self-centered acts and still have tendencies to feel invincible. Some people mature sooner, and still make a good parent. That's great. But just because you are, or you know a few who are, doesn't mean everyone is. It's the same reason marriages are more likely to fail the younger the couple is. (cue all the exceptions who will take issue with that, too).


    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:55 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I also hate the age thing when it comes to being a parent. I have seen some 19 yo that make better mothers than 35yo... it's all on maturity and stability. I don't believe girls are ready to be parents when they haven't even graduated high school, just because their is alot of life to live still and a kiddo is a HUGE responsibility. it isn't all cute and fun like some tv shows like to portray. I believe that a stable and loving relationship between the parents is key too(preferably marriage I am a big advocate of waiting till marriage for sex).

    Answer by TippyD at 1:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Anyone can be a good parent if they choose to, period. I keep seeing questions like this over the past few days, and honestly, it does not matter at all. As to why people feel that it matters? I don't know, maybe it makes them feel better somehow to knock a mom whose much younger or a mom whose much older than themselves or maybe that is just what they have seen in their own experience; who knows, maybe the neighbor girl got pregnant at 15 or 17 or 19 or whatever and turned out to be a drain on those around her, so it's scarred them into thinking it's all young mothers. I think the best way to turn those attitudes around though is to let those around you experience what a great mother you are and choose to be. I had many people doubt my ability when I became pregnant, but I guarentee you no one who knows me and my son doubt it now.

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 2:05 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • There is a 17-year-old mom of a 5 month old that I am sort of friends with.

    She lives down the street and our babies are very close in age. She seems to want to do well for her baby...he's a SWEET little boy. oh so cute...

    She always asks me what brand of diapers she ought to get, or what's the best thing for diaper rash.
    Her baby is always clean and sweet-smelling and dressed up snug. I think she is a good mom even if she is a little young for it.
    What bothers me are these younger moms with children that they don't even seem to want...and there are some irresponsible ones like that as well...when there are women out there who cannot conceive and want to.

    Answer by Anjeey at 2:17 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Her baby is always clean and sweet-smelling and dressed up snug. I think she is a good mom even if she is a little young for it.

    A clean baby means she's a good babysitter...we won't know if she's a good mom until the kid gets older and needs actual parenting. Babies are are more difficult...teens are impossible...parenting is SOOO much more than making sure the baby is clean and smells sweet. When the baby grows up and comes to her with questions about sex, drugs and society...or is having problems at school...or has some sort of mental illness...then we will see how good a parent she is...until then, she's just good at keeping the baby clean. (Full disclosure: I had my first baby when I was 18.)

    Answer by mizkaye at 2:43 PM on Mar. 14, 2009