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explaining death

my aunt (who raised me and by all means is my mother) is dying. She and my 4 yr old are best friends. they talk on the phone several times a day, and he is lost without her (as am i) this is sudden and unexpected, and i just don't know what to say. he knows about Heaven and Jesus, but can he really understand what death means? Should i take him to see her? she had a massive stroke and she can't even speak. please help me say the right thing. I'm so lost right now.


Asked by bestmommyeber at 12:42 PM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 9 (351 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • If you live near a Border's or Barne's and Noble's take your child there and ask the salesperson to show you the books for her age on death. They are beautifully and sensitively written in a way that a 3 or 4 year old can understand without frightening them or making them really sad. They even have books like this for when a pet dies, but I know I saw at least two really good ones about losing a family member. When my mother passed, my brother's twins were only two and they really didn't understand. They lived in the same house with my mom so they missed her terribly and asked about her a hundred times a day. We told them grandma went to heaven to live with the angels because that is where old people go when they are so sick and can't be here with us anymore. They were too young to understand the books, but I read one of these books to them last year and they said "So that's where grandma went". Take care of yourself.

    Answer by grandmalinda707 at 4:13 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

  • everything will be okay and time will heal all wounds...I recently lost a couple of ppl in my family in the past 2 years and had to explain it to my kids...I told my oldest daughter that sometimes God just wants us home with him ..i told her that is where we were made and we have to go back there when our heavenly father wants us home...i took my kids to see my ungle and stuff but i had no choice because no one could watch them while I went....Sit your son down and see wht he wants to do and just try to explain to him the best way you can that his aunt can't speak because something happend to her and she is getting ready to go home to this wonderful place where we all will be one day in Heaven My prayers are with you and your family in this hard time if i could id grab u up and give you a big hug cause it hasnt been very long since i went through of luck to you and yours

    Answer by BBKMommy at 12:55 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • i meant to add in there that when my 4 year old daughter sees a picture or something of those who passed awsay she looks at me and goes they are with Jesus mommy and I just say yeah baby they are and she goes well they are happy so im happy...i don't think they fully understand but i think they do to some extent

    Answer by BBKMommy at 12:57 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I told my kids when they were little that only absolutely God knows when some one will die. And that to die means to move to heaven. Try asking your son what he knows about heaven. I'm sure he has his thoughts and guide him from there. I said it does hurt some times to be sick but it doesn't hurt to die cause God is with us helping us move but to remember that only God and no one else knows when or where some one is going to die and that God scoops us up where ever no matter where we are and moves us to heaven, that's what die is. As for yr son seeing your aunt, have you seen her with out him. Some strokes can alter movement of our mouths and eyes and increase drooling and muscle control. I'd see her alone a few times, does she want to see him? Sometimes those ill do not want a young person to see them in such a way. If u visit wth your son remind him how babies drool mbe aunt will, and tired changes speech. I'm sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • When my grandmother died my daughter was only 8 months old but I had a cousin that was 3 at the time. She asked me what happend to my grandmother (where she went) and I told her that God had decided that he wanted my grandma to come live with him now. Then I explained to her that my grandmother was happy at her new house with God. Now everytime she sees a picture of my grandmother she tells everyone that my grandmother lives with God now and she is happy there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Mar. 14, 2009