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Why does it hurt so bad?

I just broke up with my BF about 1 week ago. And, at times it hurts sooo bad!!!....I feel like my heart is breaking in 2. I miss having conversations with him. and I miss just touching him, and kissing him. But, a future with him seems non existent. He is going through a divorce and I can't seem to trust that he will do what he says he will..It feels like i just set myself up to fail in this relationship.....God, this hurts sooo bad, I just wish it were over!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I am so sorry you are hurting like this. I don't know fully your situation but it sounds like you made a good decision. If I were there we could go have a girls day out!!! Your pain will ease, you will love again. Hugs to you.

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:58 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Your boyfriend was married? You kinda set yourself up for that heartbreak...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • When your heart hurts like that BREATHE. Take deep centering breaths until the physical chest pain releases. You can center yourself with this relaxation technique.

    But a journal and be honest with yourself. Why did you date a married man? What are you looking for in a relationship? What are you looking for in YOURSELF? Only you will know the asnwer to some tough questions.... let your writing guide you.

    It's spring, plant something go for a walk do something to re-fill your spirit. Everyday you get up the pain will be further away. You will be fine.

    Many blessings!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Come on anon. Sure she may have dated a married man but she let him go. Kudos to you for that!! You are on the right road by looking at what is best for you. I agree with the previous anon. Connect with yourself through writting. You will have that "ah ha" moment where you will see a connection of why you were drawn to someone like him to begin with. You will get through this.

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:33 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • It hurts because every time you give yourself to another person and that person leaves, a part of your very self goes with him. That's why it is so much better to not allow yourself to become too quickly involved. You should first know exactly what you are looking for in a man, hopefully in a husband to be. Character is the very first thing to look for. A married man who will date is right away not a candidate. I suggest that you give yourself a lot of time to heal from this mistake in judgment and that you use this time to really think about what character traits are important to you in a mate. Then wait until a man with those traits comes along. You should not settle for a man who does not meet your qualifications and do not ever give a man sex, thinking that will in any way lead to what you want. It will not, and you will have compromised your ideals. Stand firm and wait for the best. Never settle for any less.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:35 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • First off, Good for you for walking away. Do you really think it would have been wise to be witha man who can't honor a commitment. I am sure he said he was getting a divorce, and very well may be.. but until that divorce is final.. he is still married and there is still a woman at the other end of the situation. I have been the woman on the other end. Divorce paper all done and signed, the other woman waiting.... its agony on to many. I pray that you will wait for a man who respects you enought to NOT be married when he is starting a relationship, or at least have the respect for his wife and you to wait untill the divorce is final. Besides, a man fresh out of a divorce carries alot of baggage, and we as woman tend to be baggage handelers. Breathe, and work on you, so that when someone deserving comes along, you can be what they deserve.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • because you don't want to be alone, and when you are your mind tricks you into thinking you'd be better off with a married loser just to 'not be alone'....give it time so you can find someone who deserves you...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2009