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What would you do if you were married and wasn't having sex?

I gave birth 5 months ago and since then my husband hasn't wanted to make love. He say because he be exhausted and stressed. (I thought sex was a stress reliever) Anyway's.. I'm a little frustrated and trying my best not to cheat. Yes, I've talked to him over and over about it but there's not much that can help him get the sleep that he feels he need with a newborn in the house. I just wonder how he can go so long with out getting any? (He is older..(midage) but still.. anyway's what would you do in this situation?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Tell him you are thinking about cheating. That should let him know you are serious. If he has a medical problem (ED) then he might fess up. Some older men just stay busy and try not to focus on it; but if you are offering and he's refusing he might have a problem getting hard.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:03 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Or he might have a problem and is getting hard with someone else. Who does middle of the night babycare? Who takes baby to doctor, daycare if any? Who's home with baby in day if a parent is home? I'd get a counselling date and go with him to it to work this out if your questions aren't getting any where. Is his job letting people go? Do you have high debt? If you're working in the home with the heavy duty job of raising baby and homekeeping, and if he's working outside the home and bringing home money then maybe job stress is a part of his stress and worry too of providing for you and baby. Counselling could help since you've tried talking already to know if he's on the prowl with another woman or growling because he's anxious about his life with you and baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I think it's an age thing. My dh is in his 50's, and getting it out of him is like pulling teeth at times. However, I'm nuts about him and would never cheat on him. That's what the hand and toys are good for, I guess...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Get a toy and don't be stupid and cheat!
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:25 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • what stores can I buy sex toys at?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • try adam and eve.com they have pretty good prices, i've bought from them several times
    CubanFIre

    Answer by CubanFIre at 9:44 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • DO NOT TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT CHEATING!!!!!!!
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 10:36 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • It would devastate him and he will never trust you again. It will destroy your marriage and damage your baby's life forever. If he finds out that you are taking care if it yourself, he may decide he is interested again. Also, try looking sexy and repairing your make up and changing your shirt right before he gets home. Have dinner ready when he gets home, make yummy desserts. Keep the house looking shiny and clean and keep all his drawers full of clean laundry. It can be hard for a man to feel "in the mood" when there is chaos all around him. All the normal man comforts are great for getting them ready to go.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 10:38 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I gave birth 6 months and havent had sex but that is mostly because postpardum depression leaves me terrified of physical interaction. My husband is supportive of my needs and understands I am not ready. My husband loves and respects me enough to wait until I am ready again. a sign of a true marriage I think, is being connected emotionally so that when the physical is lacking you are still fulfilled. I would try connecting with him emotionally before pulling the moves on him. Besides if your husband was in a horrible accident tomorrow and was paralyzed from the waist down and couldnt perform you wouldnt leave him (at least I hope not) Just ta;k to him and see whats up and respect him the same as you would want to be respected
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 10:46 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • "It would devastate him and he will never trust you again. It will destroy your marriage and damage your baby's life forever. If he finds out that you are taking care if it yourself, he may decide he is interested again. Also, try looking sexy and repairing your make up and changing your shirt right before he gets home. Have dinner ready when he gets home, make yummy desserts. Keep the house looking shiny and clean and keep all his drawers full of clean laundry. It can be hard for a man to feel "in the mood" when there is chaos all around him. All the normal man comforts are great for getting them ready to go."

    somebody read the good wifes guide too often lol
    gonefishin

    Answer by gonefishin at 10:54 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

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