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How do I bring up TTC...

So the other night while drinking... my husband and I were talking about kids. I told him that I fear if we have two boys lol... he is going to get them into motor cross racing cause he did it up until he was 16 or so. I said thats why I am hoping for a girl. He said I wouldnt mind having a little girl. I said, well since everyone else in the family is having boys, and its been said that this family does not make girls... when we do TTC... it will be us that have the first little girl. He said yeah, I know lol. So after that conversation, I said so when do you want to have kids, or TTC... he said ask me when i am sober. I dont want to talk about when we are drunk. He said that is a conversation that needs to take place when we are sober together. So my question, how would you bring it up?? Lastly , what do you take that conversation as, what would you take it as, if you were me? Just wondering...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Mar. 14, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Next time you guys are doing something busy together (not sex, but like folding laundry, or cooking, or you watching while he works on the car) say "hey, I was thinking that maybe we should make a plan for when we want to try to have kids." If he is busy and does not have to look at you while he is talking, you are more likely to have a real conversation about it. Men are better communicators when they are busy doing something else.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 10:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • i would take the conversation that he was trying to say he wants a kid...most men that dont and dont care would have just been like i dont want ne lol.....thats how i would have took it

    If i were u then i would say okay baby listen up im ready to have ur baby...so lets go to the bed room and get naked and have wild monkey sex lol and then just slyly say...are you ready? lol

    How can he say no?
    BBKMommy

    Answer by BBKMommy at 10:01 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • I have three kids, one son and two daughters. My first daughter was the first girl born in my husband's family in over thirty years then four more granddaughters were born after that. So never say never. Good for your husband for wanting to talk about it sober, he knows the importance of real family time not just great drunk time. In bed just cuddle in and read books or listen to music and chat him up. At least he said he'd talk.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Talking about baby makin' can be a little uncomfortable to men. I think, at least for my husband, he wanted me to say "I want to have kids" because I would be the one doing all the work (pregnancy-wise). He was more or less uncomfortable making suggestions about something that would drastically change my body and my life unless I brought it up. I think the alcohol was more or less his "liquid courage" so say something to you about it. He wants you to bring it up. That's all there is to it. Talk about it when you're alone. Maybe in bed at night or over dinner? You don't have to be awkward about it just say "so, do you want to start TTC?" He's your husband, don't be nervous about it.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 10:06 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • My husband and I have had convos like that. generally they are the deepest most loving desires of our hearts....but we always make sure we talk about things again when we're sober if we were really serious....because when you're drunk... all inhibition has gone away. you just think about how great it would be to hold little baby and have a melding of you two running around.. your brain forgets all the hard times and troubles, (ie finances, etc) that you might have to go through. your husband doesn't sound like he's at all against having kids. sounds like he may be ready for that responsibility, even if it means the HUGE resp. or taking care of a girl. Especially if he had any mind to say that's a conv we need to have sober, that means it's not something he wants to get into lightly, it means that much to him to be sure you guys are ready.
    Adeline1210

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 10:08 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Find some time where you guys can sit down and talk, don't make it overdramatic because he may not be ready just yet. tell him how you feel and if you think you're ready to be a mom, then talk to him about when you could possibly TTC. It's a thrilling time! good luck!
    Adeline1210

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 10:09 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • Thank you ladies, I really, really appreciate all the great answers!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Mar. 14, 2009