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Do you think just adopting a child makes you less of aparent then giving birth?

btw i DO NOT think this.. i have known several families who have apdoted and they are no less a fmialy then my own.. i am just posting this cuz i had seen that ingorant comment posted elsewhere on cafemom and i wanted to see what people thoughyt

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Asked by JrsMommy07 at 11:00 PM on Mar. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (419 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Nope. I think it takes a special type of person to adopt a baby. I admire them and wish I could adopt one day.

    Answer by sarapurser at 11:02 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • No if not I think it makes you a bigger( not saying better),because you willing to take in a child,that does'nt have a family for whatever reason.My Sil,and Bil adopted a little boy from a russia orfanage,and you would never know he was not born into our family.

    Answer by Val504 at 11:04 PM on Mar. 14, 2009


    Answer by ashleystoner86 at 11:04 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • "Just adopt"-- are you kidding me? If everyone had to go through what adopted parents have to go through to get their children, this world would have far fewer people on it! And as for treating the "child like your own"-- let me clear up that once you adopt, the child IS YOUR OWN.

    As a parent who will be having both-- I got pregnant while waiting for our adopted baby to come home-- there are certainly differences in the journey. This pregnany lasts 9 months. The adoption journey lasts 2.5 years. I will not be a better parent for giving birth nor for adopting a child. i am not special in having a desire to adopt, either. The measure of a parent is not whether you give birth or take one in. It is how you love, raise and treat the child.

    What makes a parent special is taking on the responsibility for another human being, As far as I'm concerned, EVERY parent is special.

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:35 PM on Mar. 14, 2009

  • You're right OP, a lot of people do make ignorant comments. As an adopted child, I've heard a lot of them myself. It's ignorance; that's all it is.

    Of course my mother doesn't love me any less because I'm adopted. She waited 9 years to adopt me. If anything, wouldn't it make more sense that I be MORE valuable to her than children she could produce on her own at a whim and only wait 9 months for (of course an adopted child is no more valuable than a non-adopted one, I'm just making a comparison). I think adoptive parents are absolutely courageous.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:41 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I think it takes a truly remarkable person to offer the love and caring that many parents can only feel for a child that is biologically thier own.


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:48 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • there are so many "parents" out there that dont love their child or treat them like family. IMO the ppl who think adoption makes you less of a parent are stupid...theres just no way to justify that!

    Answer by okmanders at 1:38 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • What? Less of a parent? That's sad that someone would say that! I think it makes you more of a parent to adopt someone else's baby. There are so many kids out there that don't have people who love them, and the people that take them in, give them a good home, and show them love should be commended!

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 2:37 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I'm an adoptive mother and it always bothered me when I heard "Oh you get all the fun without all the pain" refering to the birth. (And believe me I heard this quite a bit when the twins were babies- not so much now.) I finally started telling people that my labor was actually harder because I went through 4 years of fertility treatments, 6 miscarriages, months of foster/adoptive parent licensing. It didn't end when the twins were born and placed with me because I had to wait 14 months for the adoption to be final, always afraid that something would jack it up before it was official. Those were my labor pains the only difference is that I felt them in my heart. I don't feel in way, shape or form as less of parent or a family.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 3:06 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • My firstborn was adopted by a wonderful family, and is loved just as much as their other 4 children (who are the paren'ts blood). I do not think it makes more or less of a parent, as long as there is equal love.

    Answer by epoh at 7:07 AM on Mar. 15, 2009

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