Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ladies, How do you cope with something like this?

I will try to keep this brief. Long story short a family friend is going to jail for drugs. Not sure of all the details but he was got with the ingrediants. He was on probation anyway, so we are pretty sure he will now go to jail. He, rightly so, is very upset as he is leaving a girlfriend and two babies behind. My question is how do you cope with the sadness of everyone? I feel for him, the girlfriend and the babies.. but I don't know how to bring comfort to them all. I have prayed all day. I want him to be safe, but I want to bring comfort to the family as well. Thank you for your time.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Just keep your shoulder handy and your ear open and your arms open wide.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 4:27 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • You just be there for your friend and her babies. That's all you can do. Now for him, I don't feel sorry for. He knew what he was doing was wrong at the risk for getting caught. If his family were important he wouldn't have gone down that evil road.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • i agree with the above poster and think that eventually everyone gets their come uppins and just desserts ;]

    Answer by aliciatron at 3:58 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I'm not sure of the deatils, but though he may be 'rightly so' about being upset he's leaving his girlfriend and 2 babies behind, but he should have thought about that before getting involved in something illegal. He is also 'rightly-so' going to jail for doing things thatt are against the law. Yes, it is sad. But it's also the course of the law.

    as far as comforting the family left behind- pray, be freinds, and do as much as you can.
    have them over for dinner, help the mom with diapers and baby clothes, babysit for her (free-of-cahrge), bring her to church or a women's Bible study.

    all you can do for the young man iss pray for him, pray with him, and let him know his girlfriend and babies will be well looked after.


    Answer by Kiter at 4:00 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Just a narrow observation: my mom & dad divorced when I was 12. He had moved across the country for a grad school, and he stayed there. ... He only came to visit us (me & my three siblings) one time. He wanted to have court approval for child visitation to his home, but my mother insisted that the ruling be worded so that he had to invite all of us together, because she recognized that he'd be likely to invite only my sister and that would hurt the rest of us. As a result, he never did invite us at all. His child support ($100 per child) was often late or missing. Never a birthday card. ... My mother struggled, of course, but she never spoke against him.

    As an adult, I was in occasional contact with him & his 2nd wife. Then I visited them for a week. I AM SO LUCKY that he was NOT in my life !! Selfish, contemptuous ... his wife is a mess from this treatment. And my dad was NOT a low-life. Sometimes kids are really better off.

    Answer by waldorfmom at 4:28 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Be there for her every possible way. Be her rock to keep her grounded in knowing everything will work itself out.If she is religious help her use this experience to grow in it.

    Answer by Alize26 at 4:50 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Just be there for her and her children as best you can. It's emotionally draining, I can tell, just do your best, you sound like a woman with a lot of faith in God, so rely on that to help you be there for them in this rough time. Just keep them all in your prayers. I don't know the situation but, just because he got mixed up in drugs does not make automatically make him a bad guy but, you know what all went down. The only thing you can do for him is pray, try to focus on her and her kids, but, it's ok to take a break if you need this is hard stuff to deal with for everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Be there to listen, to help out however you can or your friend's need, and pray for the family., including the one going to jail.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 5:08 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I would give him some loving and constructive advice about how his lifestyle choices are bringing pain to everyone around him, this is time when hell listen. People have to hit bottom before they will listen sometimes, and this may be his bottom. Id let him and his family know that they can count of me for help while he is away. Most of all they probablly just need to know that someone cares.

    Answer by Double.L at 5:13 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • You can be there for the gf and babies but I wouldn't feel sorry for him. He made a choice and has to deal with the consequences of those choices. He will be going to jail, he broke probabtion and will have to serve the rest of his sentence and then whatever sentence he will get for the other offense. My brother has had 4 dui's and I no longer feel sorry for him or anyone else that makes a choice to do something wrong, especially something that can cause harm or death to other people. Pray for the family and pray that he sees that what he is doing and has done affects many more people than himself.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:27 PM on Mar. 15, 2009