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My boyfriends son

My SO's son has just come to live with me,my boyfriend and my two daughters,Jake(my SO's son) who's 14 has been in a bit of trouble recently because he does drugs(cannabis),stealing,vandalism and he's gotten someone pregnant and he's been here for a few hours and he seemed to take a interest in my eldest daughter who is 4 and it seemed fine and then he wanted to help my boyfriend bathe the kids so I was like ok,I let him as he is thier uncle well kinda,I sat in the bathroom during bath time but couldn't see much as both my SO's and Jake's back was turned towards me,then Dean went downstairs so me and Jake were left in the bathroom with the kids and he was washing my 4 y/o,by this time I could see what was going on and I walked over and knelt next to him by the bath,the next thing I knew he was kissing me,I pulled away from him but I feel uncomfertable around him and I've got to look after him while Dean's at work,what do I do?

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Aimee789135

Asked by Aimee789135 at 4:41 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • Did you tell your husband? if so your husband should handle it. Because in the real world when you kiss someones wife the husband genreally will beat your a$$.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 4:43 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • This kid needs therapy, and possibly a psycho-sexual evaluation. There is no way in hell I would trust him around my kids or me for that matter. Have SO put him in for counseling. Your kids come first ... they are young and are easily victimized. Good luck.
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 4:50 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • i would say tell your SO and and ask the son why did he kiss you and watch him arond your kids even if you think every things ok just to make sure just keep ur eye on him round you kids
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 5:01 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I agree with MomShawn 100%. This kid is only 14 and clearly has severe problems. My x was a sex addict and the behavior he is displaying is indicative of major sexual issues/acting out. If it's not a sexual problem it could be a personality one, such as Antisocial Personality disorder; these are incredibly serious issues. He needs therapy now, & I would not leave him unattended with your children under any circumstances.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 6:38 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Give him a slap on his face! Tell your bf what is going on too. Geeze. that's crazy.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 6:54 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • That child needs help and he's not going to be able to deal with his issues in a house with a 4 year old girl in it. He needs to be somewhere else while he is given therapy. I'm sure in hindsight you know, but there is absolutely no way a 14 year old boy should be bathing a 4 year old girl even if they were full siblings. It's just not in the realm of acceptability.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 7:02 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • i wouldn't have allowed him to bath my daughter or help bath her. i know that you probably realize this now. also, definately tell your SO immediately. Explain how uncomfortable it makes you feel. I would immediately look into finding him a therapist. As in, call someone and explain the situation and take him tomorrow.

    it is possible that he was acting out toward you just to freak you out if this is a new change to move to your house. he might have wanted to make you uncomfortable so that he could go back or something to his BM's or wherever he was. However, this does not make it any less of a problem.

    good luck. definately watch him and don't allow him alone with your kids.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:32 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • He can't go back to his Mum's as she is in hospital as she suffers from depression and suffering from a mental breakdown(i think) and I've told my boyfriend to take him to the mental health centre,you can get help there and they'll tell you what to do next and I'm going with them,my sisters coming to look after my youngest while were there.
    Aimee789135

    Answer by Aimee789135 at 5:57 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • i am glad that you are getting him some help. i am sure watching his mom have her troubles has not helped his behavior issues or whatever else is going. good luck with everything. i hope it works out and he can get more adjusted.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:59 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • HOLY SMOKE its time to sit down and speak to your BF .... mom shawn is soooo right and you need make moves to make sure u dont leave ur children with him and keep ur distance from him
    finallymomof3

    Answer by finallymomof3 at 11:49 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

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