Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


So about 2 weeks ago I was looking at my cell bill and found my BF was texting this number all day and at nights too. I decided to text the number and found out it was another girl and that they were "together" and sleeping together. I was crushed. Turns out while he was staying some nights at his moms while we worked on our relationship that he was having this girl staying at his moms house. She and I met and confronted him, but he walked out without saying anything. He keeps telling me we could make it work, but how can I ever trust him? This girl told me so much. Like the fact that they were together for 2 months, he was telling her he loved her, they were having unprotected sex, and the kicker, he had her around MY daughter! What should I do? I wanna make it work but I don't know if I can forget what he's done. There were days he slept with me and then went to be with her. Gross

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I am sorry. I know I would have to leave, but it is a personal decision. I couldn't trust him again though, and it's not worth the trouble if you are having to double check his stories every time he leaves the house. btw, is the other girl done with him, or is he telling her the same thing, that may be something to check out too.

    Answer by AK_aries at 5:19 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I, too, would leave. This will lead to the road of nowhere Hon. You deserve one man and one man deserves you. You are better than this. Get out and go find someone to love you as you deserve to be loved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I was in a similar situation minus the kid and girl that is a bad ass feeling. But when your in love your liable to do some crazy things, like forgive. I mean not only did he mess up the trust between you two but he disrespected you and your daughter. But she needs her dad too. So when your ready you will know when to let him go. If you want to forgive him and make things work, go on back. Just hope for the best and expect the worst in a situation like that. And when your ready to walk away you will. Most of all you have to stay strong for your daughter though. Best wishes...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • First of all - please go get tested for STD's. You don't know where else he as been or where this other chick has been.
    Leaving is a personal decision, but since you are not married to him, I would say kick his ass to the curb and find someone who will do right by you.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 5:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Its a tough decision to make and love makes everyone blind. Remember that all we can give you is advice and not an answer.

    If it were me I would leave him and head straight to the clinic for a STD panel. I am a general firm believe of the once a cheater always a cheater logic, although there are, of course, exceptions. If he has done this to you for the past two plus months then IMO he is not interested in 'working it out' with you. Good Luck and I hope everything works out for the best for you and your daughter!

    Answer by apattinson at 5:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • wow deffently time too leave.. but then again.. i would most likely have tried after getting all the info.. mm and then if it didnt work then you knew for sure that it wasnt ever meant to be..

    Answer by miss_nevin at 5:28 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • if it was me I would leave, to me he is really not into you like he should be.... its not worth and the feelings of mistrust and paranoia that come along after someone is unfaithful.... Not worth it at all. If you take him back, that just lets him know that he can get away with it again and he will do it again.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:28 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • If he wants to make it work he needs to earn back your trust and its not easy. It depends how much you want to invest in this relationship. Is it worth it? Do you love him? Guys do not use there brain and think they are smarter than we are but they always slip up and they always get caught. Tell him if he wants to make it work then he goes no where that you dont know about and he goes no where over night, and check his phone constantly. treat him like a baby for a while until you feel comfortabel and trust me the barrier will be up for a long time. been ther done that and it sucks. Hell either prove he screwed up and he loves you or hell just eave either way youll know good luck

    Answer by desperateat48 at 5:29 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Leave. For me that would be unforgivable.

    Answer by Magpie75 at 5:34 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • You are worth more than what you are getting from this guy. There are a million guys out there that would treat you better. What about your daughter. Do you want her to see that being treated this way is ok. Because she will and she will follow in your footsteps. It is a proven fact.
    I have done it, and am going through it because I picked a guy just like my dad used to be. Abusive. And I took it just like my mom.
    Stand up for yourself. Take charge of your life. You only have one. Take charge for your daughters well being. Plus who knows what he could have given you with unprotected sex and she is the only one you know about. He could have been playing you both. And what a low piece of shit to take your daughter around the other girl. I won't say woman because she isn't a woman if she would do something like that.
    It isn't and won't be easy. Be strong for if not for yourself then your daughter

    Answer by 1pagenwoman at 5:34 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.