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My dh is acting strange...

My husband of almst three years is acting different. A few weeks ago I saw that porn had been searched on the computer and he completely denied it. Befoe that we were having a dry spell intimately. And he got better for a while and now he is being short with me and every time mention having sex he says not right now. He is 22. How many 22 year old guys dont want to have sex?? Any ideas??? I don't want to think that he is having an affair but what else could it be.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • The same kind of thing happened to my. My husband was cybering in chatrooms, sending and receiving pictures and never wanted to be intimate with me. To me, that's cheating. We ended up in therapy and things are ok now, but the hurt never completely goes away and trust is really hard to rebuild.

    You can always check the history on the comp, or download a page tracker thing. Good luck, I hope yours isn't up to that, but it sounds like he may be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Keep up your gaurd hunny. I don't wanna upset you but you really need to push the issue with him. Get him talking. When my hubbby did this I found out he had cheated on me so....
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 7:20 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • get some kind of spyware.
    pbjmoore

    Answer by pbjmoore at 7:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • you can look it up and if you find something, don't confront him, just go about your business, except do the sam thing he is doing.... if he dosent like it then you know he still loves and wants you, but if he dont care.... move on, but some guys get jealous even if they dont love you or want you in a sexual manner, cux they feel there terf is being taking over. if thats the case tell him if he can do it then so can you...
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:23 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Try and get to the root of the problem of why he doesnt want to have sex. I would not assume my husband is cheating, but of course I don't know yours. I would assume he looked at porn because we werent having sex, for me the real issue is why we arent having sex. Put some effort into initatiing sex, langerie, candels etc and if he still turns you down, you'll know the issue is something deeper..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Have you tried sharing your concerns with him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • He might be angry, or having a problem he doesn't want you to know about, or unfortunitly cheating. good luck. Try talking or snooping.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 8:22 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Let him look at porn. Since you are getting surprises. Let the porn be a release, otherwise he may stray and cheat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • with the economy in the toilet it might be taking a toll on him thinking about the future and how he is supposed to provide for his family if it gets worse. I'm sure that worry might come before playtime for him and other men.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • It could be stress in other areas of his life. When behavior changes, the first advice is to get a medical workup to rule out physical reasons. Talk with him. Be sure to never call names or bring up past grievances. Put everything from your point of view so it doesn't make him put up barriers and resist working on this. For example, don't say You never want to have sex. But instead say, "I would like to have sex more than we do. I am worried about why we aren't," and so forth. It couldn't be that he is worried about having a baby is it? Maybe trouble at work or concerns about finances or the economy have him tense. If all else fails, ask him to go to counseling with you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:49 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

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