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Dunno anymoree.

Ok i officially know in my heart i dont wanna be with the guy im with - I dont know what to do - Im almost 37 weeks pregnant - im constantly stressed out all the time because of this relationship - Im the only one who is willing to talk and try to resolve things & it usually just ends up not getting resolved and just pushed aside - I seriously HATE my SO - .... he didnt want this baby from the gate & i dont regret keeping my child, but i regret moving in with him. Im more stressed out now than at ANY other point in my pregnancy & she is going to be here in less than three weeks or so - I dunno what to do - I stopped working so dont have any money saved to move out - There are no options with living with family or anything - if there was i would have already moved out -
So i dont know what to do until this baby is born & i can work and get on my own.....

Advice on how to relax & approach things?? - I cant do this anymore.

 
kwiseman19

Asked by kwiseman19 at 7:40 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Im totally there myDH just got sent to jail in jan ourtwins were born in feb of this year and for the longest time i just feel like he hasnt been doing what he needs to, although he wants he twins very badly he cant take care of them. I love him so much but i dont think Im IN love with him... so being in the same boat i cant give the best advice but soome is better then none so I say if you dont feel like this man is going to treat u like the ladie you are and fully love yalls kid. you really souldnt stree if you ask me take a day toyourself alone or with the girls and do some soul serching only you can decied. I know money wise it hard to leave, he moved in with me too but, you have to be able to stand on your own two feet girly. best adviec ever. go out and read Steve harves nwe book act like a lady think like a man. itll do wonders and help you figure out more of what you should do then we all can.PM me if theres more 2 say
    Mamma_bearof2

    Answer by Mamma_bearof2 at 12:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • are you sure that you hate him??? because i felt like that all time when i was emotional and stressed but, it changed after the baby was born.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Its not that i hate him - I just really dont like him as a whole - the kind of person he is & just everything.
    He is just not someone im willing to settle for at all - I dont see the point on being in a relationship that is more drama and chaos than anything -
    Its not hormones that im running off of - its everything that has happened as a whole in the past year - im at the end of trying & dont wanna do this anymore - especially 37 weeks pregnant and worrying and stressing enough about a baby on the way - he is making it so much worse.
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 7:46 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I am very sorry to hear that you are at the end of your rope. Let's examine your choices. You have no money nor relatives that you can live with. You can and should check social services in your community to see if you can get help with housing and expenses. Talk with your religious adviser. Failing all of these, perhaps your only choice is to stay with your boyfriend. (Since it takes two to make a baby, if he didn't want one he should have been more careful, but that boat has sailed,) I think that since he did participate in making a new human being that he needs to help support the person's mother and the new person. See if you can think of why you loved the man so much that you were willing to be intimate with him and to have his child, there must have been something there. But at this time be finding what you can do about housing, job, expenses after the baby arrives.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:47 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • i was exactly in your situation, but the one thing u did that I didnt do is move in with him. I worked literally until I had my daughter. Me and my daughters father just called it quits after she was born. I was so aggravated with him and just hated the person he had become. It got worst for us after my daughter was born. A year later, we are doing better but definitely never going to be a couple and Im finally content with that. Go to your local DFACS office and see what assistance they offer. If there is non start seeking work now/ DFACS will offer child care assistance, medicaid and food stamps
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 8:29 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I felt the same way and three years later I finally got on my feet and made the move. If you leave even though the baby isn't here yet he has to help $$$ wise, well here in texas. In that 3yrs I just focused on my child and trust me it flew by but i know that doesn't help you right now. I would get massages to help with my stress from the local jr collage, they are free to expecting mothers here in pearland. Talk to your OB they have endless resources. Hope this helps
    auntshag

    Answer by auntshag at 8:33 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Unless he is physically abusive or into drugs or other addictions, I might try to work it out. (If he is, leave NOW!!) You can't change his behavior but you CAN change yours which can change his attitude and behavior towards you. I think the Above poster had a point when she says that once the hormones level out, that can help some too. Feel free to join the group and see what you might be able to do to make things better :) We're here to help if we can!
    TessaBianca

    Answer by TessaBianca at 8:35 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I was in your situation except I wasn't pregnant. look at the upside, you aren't married so getting out is going to be so much easier in the long run... I know you're close to your due date so calling family services is your best bet. Tell them the situation you're in, they can help set you up in housing, foodstamps etc... But don't say anything to him until you have all your ducks in a row.. Get everything ready then once it's all set then you can move. Even if it all doesn't happen at once or as fast as you want it to, the baby won't know the difference. So sit back relax, ignore him, let him stew, as long as he hasn't been hurting you physically just be patient, it will all work out.... Just stay one step ahead. PM me if you need anything!
    4x4mum

    Answer by 4x4mum at 9:53 PM on Mar. 15, 2009