Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you teach your children by natural consequence?

If my DS is doing something mildly dangerous (i dont mean life threatening or a trip to the ER. i just mean a possibility of getting an owie) I dont tell him to stop. I just give him a warning, "be careful, you might get hurt". He learns a lot by me letting him experience natural consequences.
Or when it's hot outside and he's running around a lot with a sweater on i'll say things like "you like you might be getting hot".
Of course, if the situation is truly dangerous i wont even let him near it or if it's 110 degrees then he wouldnt even have a sweater to begin with.
am i making sense? ...i feel kind of out of it tonight.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I guess we do that on a situational basis. Just depends on what needs to be learned at that point I guess. If lets say pulling on the cats fur... depending on the age, and how often this is happening, I may want them to learn different things. My 8 mo old, I would be taking his hand and showing him how to touch since that is what he is learning, my 20 mo old and 3 yr are learning obediance, so I would tell them no and expect them to follow through, my 5 yr old though is wanting to know why... so, I may sit back and let the cat (clawless) turn around and slap him a good one so that he can understand why mommy says, be gental with the kitty.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:12 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You sound like me. I let my son learn by natural consequences as often as possible. That way, I'm not the bad mommy if I don't have to be!

    Usually, I don't say anything as a warning, though. I don't want him getting paranoid. LOL


    Answer by timelessglass at 11:29 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I think we all do that to a certain extent. Just the other day at the store my daughter started dancing and when she started hopping on one leg I said "be careful you might tip over," and sure enough she fell a minute later and gave me that look "oh you were right." LOL

    We live in CA so it never gets that cold, but there are days were I want a sweater/jacket but my son insists no. He is 6, so I will say "well it's cold are you sure ? " and if he says no, then I say "ok," and don't bring it. He seems to have good judgement now on when he needs one. Anytime I have forced him to bring a jacket he ends up taking it off, for being hot, and having me hold it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I do that, but I don't give warnings. I follow up with "wow, did that hurt? Maybe you shouldn't do that anymore." What do ya know, she doesn't. It's hilarious!

    Answer by Singingmommy01 at 1:05 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I do, depending on the situation, of course.

    There are times when I actually debate...."Well, they'll only do it once."

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 9:02 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Yes, depending on the situation. Sometimes natural, sometimes "mom-imposed", but at least there's always a consequence.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:52 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Those are the best punishments. They learn quickly that way!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 10:01 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I think some lessons in life kids have to learn for themselves. How do you describe hot to someone? I am not saying let them play with matches...but hot is just something you have to experience to get. I see what you are saying.

    Answer by salexander at 10:58 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • i call it shock therapy. i do it all the time!! if i say" Jay, stopt hat or your gonna fall off the couch!" and he does it and falls....i say i told you so. but guess what...i have padded carpet and he doesn't hurt himself just his pride lol he doesn't do it again. i grew up like that. i think it fits in with personal responsibililty because you gave the cause and effect. you taught him and now he was shown. it's a very situational thing. unbeknowngst (sp?) to me my son knows abot sockets now. he and my nephew same age were playing in his room and they decided to stick a dime on his nightlight and plug it back in. well it exploded. he got in trouble for trying to hide it but he knows not to play with plugs anymore

    Answer by ssnelson26 at 1:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I do/did that with my son. Like when he was two. He kept wanting to touch the curling iron and I was tired of saying no. I stood by while he touched it and said nothing. He touched it, screamed and never tried again. I knew he was only gonna touch it with his finger tip. So, no real burn. But, he finally learned why I said not to touch it.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 1:12 PM on Mar. 18, 2009