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SINGLE OR DIVORCED MOTHERS!! PLZ HELP ME

WELL MY HUSBAND TOLD ME HE WASNT INLOVE WITH ME ANYMORE AND WASNT READY TO BE A DAD?? SO WE SPLIT UP...BUT EVERY SINCE THAT NIGHT (THURSDAY) I CANT EAT SLEEP OR DO ANYTHING BUT FEEL LIKE CRAP FEEL WORHT LESS AND NOT WANTED...MY QUESTION IS HOW DO I GET PAST ALL OF THIS WE HAVE A 4MONTH OLD SON AND HE SAYS HE DONT CARE ABOUT US IN THE LEAST BIT HOW COULD THIS BE??

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Destinty

Asked by Destinty at 11:25 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • my ex left me and my daughter before she was born and he doesnt care about us either. i think its easier for guys to just walk away is because you carried your son for nine months and and gave birth to him and take care of him. if you hubby feels like this then you are better off without him and i no it is hard but it will get better

    good luck
    lmaines22

    Answer by lmaines22 at 11:29 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I think he is lashing out at you but I don't know why. Do you feel for sure it's done? If so, you need to grieve his departure however abrupt and cruel and then after some time, try moving forward with your life. I think if he feels this way, you don't want him around. Someone else will love you. But right now, it's time to focus on your child and yourself. Be strong, be proud of yourself. You're doing a big job and if he's not man enough to help, screw him! It gets better with time but you need to mourn this and then set some goals and move on. It will be okay.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:41 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I have been in sort of the same situation and I found getting angry helped. Instead of thinking "why don't he love me or care about me?" start trying to think "What a A++hole, and how dare he treat us this way". You deserve better and he is being a complete Jerk. Get mad, get up on your own two feet and move on. In short don't give in to the depression and let your self esteem sink, tell yourself all of your good qualities and what you had to offer that he is going to lose and Love that baby enough for two. Good luck. "Hugs"
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 11:47 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I've been through the exact same situation. Your grieving time is your own but you will eventually get past it. In the meantime, definitely go for childsupport.

    My baby is now 25 years old.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 11:53 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Try to concentrate on being a mommy. It helped me to work, and to be a mommy, and that's it. Don't think about relationships, don't think about how much easier life would be with someone else to help you with the responsibilities, just be patient. I have two little girls, and their daddy left me and got remarried before our second was even born. It was hard at first, but now, all I can do is be thankful that I'm not in that situation anymore. Fighting around the girls was not the life I wanted for them. I'm a mommy first, and a woman wanting a man last... ALWAYS... But I trust that God will send me someone eventually. Just wait out the pain, pray about it, and move on. Slowly but surely, you will get through this.
    SongOfAPeach

    Answer by SongOfAPeach at 12:03 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I wouldn't say that you shouldn't think about it. I would say that know that you and your child are worth more than that and tell him so. Tell him how disgusting it is that he is walking out on that child and then make no time for him. As for your not eating and sleeping; in order to take care of baby you will have to eat something (even if it's just a snack here or there) and try to get some rest so that baby has at least one semi-functioning parent. I know what it's like to be walked out on, I've been there, but once I allowed myself the time to heal, the time to realize that I am a person worthy of another person's love and so is my daughter I found someone whom I am content with and in love with, and so is my daughter. Most importantly, have hope and remember that you can dress a butt hole up all you want, but it's still a butt hole (meaning you can't change people so don't expect him to).
    Singingmommy01

    Answer by Singingmommy01 at 12:59 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I took a quick look at your profile. You and your husband have been through a LOT. I'm sure life isn't going the way either of you hoped and it seemed like he's just giving up. Saying he doesn't care is a lot easier than admitting he failing (not that he is, but he probably feels that way.) I really think that maybe you and him could benefit from some counseling so you guys could talk this stuff out.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 1:03 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I got divorced 15+ years ago.And it was awful, but it did get better after some time passed.A counselor told me not to hold my anger in.And that helped me so much.Just be the best mom you can be.
    Years later, I met my second husband.And it has been a good marriage for the most part.Just don't be in a big hurry to jump into another relationship.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:28 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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