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Am I being unreasonable? LOOK need answer quick!

My Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and have a 2 year old son and One on the way in Oct. We have always been planning on getting married but was never the right time.
Hes planning on joining the air force ASAP so we can move out of his parents house and get a place of our own. but in order for him to get a job he wants in the air force, we have to be married now!
All I ever wanted is a nice memory of my wedding day. and since this wedding has to be a shot gun wedding, I agreed that I wouldnt mind if it was even at a court house....you know with the wooden benches kinda like pews in a church.
anyways after he enlist in the air force he said there still a 4-6 month wait, and during that time in may we can have a very small ceramony in a church and reception out side in the back yard. but the court just looks like an office! so am I being unreasonable to want the wooden pews benches for our 1st wedding?

Answer Question
 
mommybreakdown

Asked by mommybreakdown at 11:28 PM on Mar. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • yes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • No, I think if you have to get married quick...then I'd celebrate it with a small reception (and another ceremony if you felt that was needed and what you always wanted). Make it memorable. =) GL!
    my2luvbugs

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 11:31 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • Yes, do the formality at the courthouse and do it again, with all the loved ones, wherever you want. You sound like there isn't much choice so I'd try to rethink this in as positive a light as you can, knowing that what is important is that you married the man you love and father of your kids. The pews are a sticking point but not the end all and be all. Know what I mean? It'll be okay.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:32 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I got married in the backyard of a reverend's home/office. Maybe go to the church you're interested in being married and ask if they know of any quick service offered by the reverend.

    I got married in Monterey, CA because no blood test was required. Maybe try Google for something like this, too.

    *Congratulations and Happy Life Together*
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 11:35 PM on Mar. 15, 2009

  • I truly do not understand how a couple can live together, have kids, and then want a really nice "church" wedding--isn't that an oxymoronic sort of thinking? I am not being a snot here----
    I am glad to see you getting married to the father of your kids but if the "time was never" right, why should it matter if you have one quick ceremony? Many churches prefer you go through some type of premarital counseling and that is why they don't "do" quickie weddings.
    A wedding is celebration of the beginning of your life together--not after you have been living together and had kids.....
    Again, I am glad to see you getting married, but I think you should have given up on the whole "church wedding" when you moved in with the guy....
    That sounds old fashioned, I am sure.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • What job is it that requires him to be married "right now"? That sounds very odd to me--the only time that applies--from having Army experience--is the amount of money he is paid each month. That is too bad it takes that to make the time "right" to get married:-(
    I would ask why it has to be "right now" if he still has to wait a few months.........
    Then see if you have even two weeks to pull together a ceremony.
    Two weeks can be enough--I know, I had to do that for a close friend before her boyfriend was deployed!!--(they were not living together.)
    But given the fact you have been together and have kids, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal since you are kinda past the whole "blushing bride" phase:-)
    You should be able to find a judge or other licensed civil officiant to do the wedding on such a short notice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I'm guessing the job is one that requires him to live on base and that you aren't allowed without the marriage certificate.

    Let me tell you about two friends of mine who did a courthouse wedding, due to immigration. They had their first wedding in the winter. They had their nice formal wedding in the summer. Guess which one had all the photos and all the memories?

    Get the certificate. Don't worry about the rest. To be honest, 15 years down the line you won't remember the details anyway. (Trust me. I'm 15 years down the line.)
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:18 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • AMEN, qdiamante!!!!! I am 26 years down the line. Our first wedding was called off but we got married a few months later. We went from a formal church wedding with 400 guests and a huge reception to a small church wedding where we called everyone--so just a small amount were there (we were not living together;-) and a reception in my parents' shop building. I am glad my parents' didn't spend as much money as they would have....they did lose some but not as much as if the first wedding would have taken place:-) Now it doesn't matter at all and I rarely look at the photos!! It was funny because one friend is in a pict we have but she wasn't invited to the second wedding (just due to time of calling) but she happened to be at the church that night and popped in to see who was getting married:-) So there she is sitting in the wooden pew:-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Me and my husband planned and had a wedding in 3 WEEKS. We just brought it up on day and we wanted to get married on our 6 year ann. but it was in three weeks. We pulled it off and I thought it turned out great. We got married in a fire house( he is a firemen) we had a minster who is a friend of the families. I did have to run all over the place the day before which made me super tired on my wedding day but it worked. It was funny when I went to go get my hair done the women didn't believe me when I said I was getting married. She thought I was just seeing what I wanted to do in the future. I was like no I'm getting married in an hour. Hope all works out well. If you work hard at it, you can make a great wedding fast. Also I had a 3 year old to attend to. Good luck.
    zachysmommy04

    Answer by zachysmommy04 at 12:32 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • There are places to get married quick that don't look like offices. My sister used one (for a planned wedding). It was already decorated, they played the music she wanted and comfortably sat 75 guests. It's not unreasonable to want something nice to remember your commitment to each other by. Of course, you could always make him drop and give you 20 for being insubordinate!
    Singingmommy01

    Answer by Singingmommy01 at 12:51 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

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