Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Legal custody guestion

so my dd is almost 3 she has known my husband as daddy well now that child support services has started a case her father sudenly wants to be part of her life the last time he saw here she was 2 months old i tried to give him the papers to start the paternity and child support and he left them behind and havnt heard from him untill now. so my question is should i fight for soul custody with no vistitation?? or let him hae visitation.Im just scared its going to mess my poor child brian up and be very hard on her.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (4)
  • I personally believe that unless he is physically or emotionally abusive to the child you should fight for full legal and physical custody with supervised visits. And then if he continues to be a part of her life it might need to be switched to day visits unsupervised. then every other weekend. ect ect. (over a period of several years). But to start with i'd go with full physical and legal custody with supervised visits.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:41 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I'll tell you what my 'big brother' told me when I was dealing with a nonexsistant father... "If he wants to be a man and father it's his right but if he acts like a child then schedule play dates at the playground for him" And something I told my noe husband (we weren't together during my pregnancy due to my insane hormones yelling and throwing lawn furniture at him one night, mind you he was not harmed due to bad aim lol) but I promised him that I would never force him to be a dad to our son. That was HIS decision. Now what I would enforce is if he had chosen not to be a part of our sons life he was not going to be a happy bday merry xmas dad. Being a parent is not a convienant thing that you 'fit' in when you can or when child support is after you. I think it is much harder on kids when they only come around here and there. I see it with my neice and it breaks my heart, she finally stops askin4 dad& he comes back (cont)

    Answer by theheartbaby at 12:56 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • and then she stars all over for months crying and missing her dad when he walks out again. And she is only 2. But I'm so happy to hear your husband has stepped up like that. Some guys wouldn't and its awesome that he is and honestly sperm doesn't make a daddy, Being a daddy, living it day to day makes a daddy and if you don't do that then you don't deserve to see your kid (I would not be gental to your daughters father, he has done more damage and left you with clean up and maintenance duty and this would just reopen old wounds for your child.)

    Answer by theheartbaby at 12:59 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • well the reason we didnt work out was well i got pregnant with her on new years and when i was a lot more sober i realized what a dumb ass he is he thinks he cool cuz he is this bad boy like think dukes of hazzard only dumb it down about 100% he is 20 and im 19 i got pregnant when i was 16 we were together a week so i really dont know him i dont know i jsut dont want my baby hurt

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.