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Do all nine year old boys act like teenagers?

My son is only nine years old but you'd swear he was a teenager by the way he acts. He is disrespectful, lazy, and rude. I love my little boy but he is driving his step father and me crazy! Is nine the new 15?

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Asked by Cathietalks at 5:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • I won't allow it in my house. My kids know how to act and if they get whiny, lazy, rude then they can go without stuff.

    We go out and people don't understand why our boys are so well behaved and it is because we displined them early in life that they know the rules now.

    Don't take any of that from a teenager and especially not from a 9 y.o. Find your child's favorite thing and take it away a few times and they will listen. It may take a few times but eventually you will find the one thing they can't live without and that is what you take.

    Answer by partiesbyjan at 6:22 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I have a 9yr old.. He doesn't clean his room, he's messy and all he wants to do is play video games and talk about sports! He knows better to never be disrespectful and rude, but if he ever is...there goes the video games. I make him read books.

    Answer by mamaada at 9:13 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Unfortunately, you can't really control how he acts, but only how you respond. For one, I'd be sure to ensure you and the step dad speak respectfully (I speak from my own experience.. I'm trying). And I'd try to find a calm moment to talk and see what is on his mind. 9 is a bit young to get the teen attitude! Maybe something is going on at school, or with friends.

    In any case, you are going to need to be able to communicate in the years to come - so focus on the really important values (pick your battles) are and set those rules and punishment (like no TV til your room is picked up, etc.). For example, I don't argue or punish my kids for how they look (within reason) as that changes over the years but I do for their grades and behaviour at school. I'd also think about trying to create some positive reinforcement, agree on a goal and try to reward him with something fun if he achieves it.


    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 10:58 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • They sure do try, don't they? I have 3 boys, 8, 10 and 12. My 10 yo was trying his hardest to grow up fast about a year ago, but recently started acting his age again. He is still my moody one, but is learning to control it as he gets older. I think they settle into a comfort zone when he gets a little older. We wont let any of the kids get away with disrespect or being lazy. And they only even try at home. They are very well behaved in public and at other peoples houses. Just don't let him get away with it even at home!

    Answer by drowninginboys at 12:41 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • No, our nine year old son is a nine year old boy through and through. He is getting a bit more laxidasical about picking up his room, but he is still the sweet kind and loving boy we have raised him to be.


    Answer by happyathomemum at 12:56 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Some do, they are starting puberty!!! It will get worse before it gets better. Mine is now 12 1/2 and is pretty disrespectful and is finding out that I will not tolerate that kind of behvior even if it is developmentally ok. Pick your battles and don't sweat the small things. Keep talking to him and being there for him when he is off the wall and needs his mom to explain things. Don't be surprised if he tends to ask dad for more help, he may be more comfortable talking to one of the guys.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • being between the years of 13-19, numbers that end in 'teen', does not mean a a child is He is disrespectful, lazy, and rude. i think it is slightly offensive to always hear negative things aout teens - simply because of the numer of years they have been alive.

    being disrespectful, lazy, and rude has little to do with age. my boys are 12, 14, 15 and they are not like that.

    yes, the hormonal flux during puberty can make those feelings in a child more extreme, but that just means it is time for us to change our parenting techniques and how we view our Young Adults.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • That's not acting like a teenager. That is just poor discipline at a young age. You really have to take care of this and NOW. Don't assume every teenager acts this way. Most teenagers are great kids. We only hear about the ones who act up and make that assumption. It is a wrong one to make.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 3:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • he's an adolescent. That's how he learns to be a teen. Adolescent years are far more stressful than teens sometimes. Things are happening to them inside they don't understand so it's perfectly normal he's doing this.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Well I should clarify that my son rarely sees his biological father and that I believe this does affect him. His step-father did not have a father growing up and therefore has taught himself how to father. Also, after being an only child for 7 years a new baby girl came along and my son did not take it well and still feels like his sister is his competition for my love. As far as how I respond to his behavior I usually just raise my voice and threaten to take away his video games and tv. He does behave well in public, the problems are at home. We do have good communication and he does tell me about things that are bothering him. He knows he is loved and he knows that all of our rules are for him to grow up to be a good person. I believe the problem is how we respond to his behavior. Any specific responses we should try that have worked in your homes?

    Answer by Cathietalks at 5:42 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

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