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I'm going through a really difficult patch in my life; I lost my job over 9 months ago, I have a eight year old kid, I absolutely no family around and my kid's dad is not in our lives. I broke up with my bf 5 months ago because I felt I was sucking him into my problems (you know how you take your problems on other people). I found out he has been pursuing other women non-stop, but that hasn't had a relationship with any. I miss him, but when I tried to contact him to ask how he is, he doesn't answer my t-mssgs. Should I even try, or just forget about everything? I feel so lonely...

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • i would try to reach out to friends rather than your ex. if he isn't responding to your texts its probably because he is trying to move on if he hasn't already. if you don't have a lot of friends, get involved in different activities and things where you can make friends - even things your child is doing. Get toknow some of the parents. Join the PTO or something. I know its hard. Also, if your family is not around. Try calling them. I know its not the same as spending the actual time with them, but calling them is still better than nothing.

    Good luck.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:04 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • It sounds like you are lonely and just reaching out to anyone right now and that's why you are trying to get back with the ex. Maybe he was really a great guy and perfect for you, we don't know. But I think you really need to put your efforts into your relationship with your child and putting effort into your own life. You really have to love yourself and be okay with your life to really welcome someone else into it. The fact that the ex is talking to other women doesn't matter. He is a single man and you can't blame him for trying to find a new relationship. If you really have something to say to him, write him a long email telling him everything you want to say. If he responds, okay then take it from there. But if he doesn't, leave him alone, he wants to move on and so should you. Maybe you can get more involved with church or something to help meet people and get more support. Good luck.

    Answer by DDry at 10:07 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I agree with pp...reach out to a church or neighbors and make new friends and move on as well. It seems he is trying t move on. Keep coming here to get support!! Life will get better.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:08 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • He's not the only fish in the sea. Get out and see what life has to offer and open yourself up to opportunities. The weather is getting better. Take your child to the park or to sports games, museums,etc. Take a class. You can meet people that way and it keeps your mind focused on something other than him. Do volunteer work and meet folks. Life is full of ppl. Go find some and enjoy yourself. Never settle. Looking back isn't usually the answer. If it didn't work out before chances are it won't again so find new adventures.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:26 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • ask yourself this do you feel lonely because you lost your job and have nothing to do and just need a man to step in and help out until you get a job and then you start taking your problems out on him and leave him or do you want this man back because you realized you made a mistake. just because he has not pursed other women doesnt mean that he has not BEEN with other women, concentrate on you and your son and getting things together for you and him then purse a realtionship because there are good men out her who dont mind taking care of a woman with ther stuff together dont get a man for the wrong reason and being lonely is the wrong reason to want a man

    Answer by sasa314 at 10:51 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Dont give up on yourself life always brings you challenges but you know what/ their just preparing you for something better. I realize you broke it off but its time to concentrate on you and your son. a good man will come and he will stick by your side 110% and help you through your rough times, higher your standars and trust me ull find the one who would have answered youtmessages even if it had been 2 years. if you dont mind ready 240 pages I think you should get steve harveys new book act like a woman think like a man, trust me when i say after reading that youll look at this a completly diff way.

    Answer by Mamma_bearof2 at 11:50 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I think you are just reaching out because of what you are going through.. it's time to move on.. work on yourself first.. getting your life back together.. Once you've got your own pieces cleaned up, you'll be more open to dating a guy for the right reasons, rather than just being lonely.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:44 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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