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Anyone have experience dealing with a mouthy teenager? Help please

He is 15 , almost 16 and I do not know how much more I can take, he is either backtalking, complaining, or ignoring us when he should be listening. We have taken away the only thing there is to take away and that was his cell phone. He isn't allowed to do much else so now what. Dad is so frustrated that he says he is out when he is 18 regardless of whether he is finished with high school, which he won't be due to his age and how school starts here. I don't want that to happen, I want him to finish high school whether he ends up going to college or not and I worry that if Dad puts him out at 18 that he won't finish. But we don't know what to do about the mouthing, complaining, ignoring anymore.

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MommaB0334

Asked by MommaB0334 at 10:10 AM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (121 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Have you sat him down and asked him what is wrong? He might be going through something and all he needs is for someone to ask him what is up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Well dear I feel your pain,But mine is a girl,I have a great kid,but that mouth! You do have a couple of years to get him under control,but good luck.I think,they think we owe them.Keep the cell phone.Atleast your husband will punish,I am the one who takes stuff from Crickett,but he gives in to her,so it causes big problems for us,so now when they get into it,I just let her run her mouth to him.lol.I wish I had an answer.But I do agree with your husband,if they don't have enough respect for their parents,that love them,and want to see them have an education,then let go on their own.I have told mine,she could stay here as long as she goes to college,but if she refuses,then ,she will get a job,and either help pay her way ,or make it on here own,some don't agree,but oh well.I refuse to raise a freeloader. again good luck.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 10:23 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I have a 16 yo and two in their twenties. The middle 1 is randomly more mouthy, the oldest is randomly mouthy and the youngest is absolutely far less mouthy than ever before. Is there a tv in his room, clubs that are a privilege to be in that are a present not a right to be in? My kids have scrubbed kitchen floors with toothbrushes for mouthing off. I've found I can't force them to do their punishment saying do it. So thru years, with my youngest I give a punishment for a stated amount of time, if there's more trouble a different punishment is added to it for an additional amount of time. At the begining of saying the punishment - no tv, no phone, no movies, no outings, allowance whatever and really there's tons to take away if you really think of it - I've said and say to my kid that THEY not me decide on their punishment and length by if they act up again or not. Per punishment I state FIRMLY w/o yelling rules.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • IME if you can find a teenager who is NEVER complaining, ignoring, backtalking they are doing it out of fear of getting their a$$ beat. I have the same problem with my son who is generally a good kid, but that mouth is out of control! And he doesn't care what we take away either. So I hope someone has some magic cure here!
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:59 AM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • It's pretty late to start teaching him to respect his parents and their authority in his life. We started that when ours began to crawl. They all lived with us until after they had finished their undergraduate college degrees, and we never had the kinds of problems you are having now. There were occasional disagreements, but there was not the disrespect. There is a book which might be of some help to you. It is THE AGE OF OPPORTUNITY by Paul David Tripp. I think what you are seeing in your son is probably the result of your having let him get away with similar behaviors when he was younger and you could have done something to have corrected it. The older they get, the fewer options you have in correcting bad behaviors. Your husband's attitude is regrettable, because ultimately it is the father who is responsible for teaching children to respect their parents' authority.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:35 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I teach middle school, so mouthy is part of the daily routine. With my own children, I found that whenever they were this way, we talked. It was usually one sided - I talked and they sulked. Eventually, whatever was bothering them revealed itself. It was usually something they wanted and we had said "no". Sometimes the answer stayed no and other times we worked out a way for them to work it off. We don't give an allowance because I refuse to pay my kids to live with me and be part of the family; however, I will barter chores for points. When enough points are earned, whatever was wanted can be purchased. They had to do the chores with a reasonable amount of effort and to a degree of satisfaction or they didn't get the points and the chore had to be redone. Be prepared for some more complaining about that.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 3:37 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • quit doing his laundry, fixing him dinner , driving him places, giving him money.
    my hub has never hit either one of our grils alls he has to say is do we need to have a talk and they stop like now. and they have a fear of me because they know i will come on glued if they even disrespect myself or anyone else. when i say jump they move or else. and the youngest one is 14 and has autism. the oldest is 21 and in college.
    momof2grls35

    Answer by momof2grls35 at 9:40 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • THIS GOES WITH THE TERRITORY, IT WILL PASS, JUST DON'T PUT UP WITH DISRESPECT.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:13 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • This is a child looking for attention. Dad needs to show these teens love while continuing to discipline. Spend as much time with them as possible. Family time would be ideal but if that can't happen then both of you take time out, turn off your cell phones, devote undivided attention to these children. They are crying out for love but continue to discipline. The more you discipline the more they need your love!!
    sweettart47

    Answer by sweettart47 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 18, 2009

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