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daddy's going to Iraq...

My husben and I are scared that our son will forget about him while he is gon in Iraq. I know I'll show him pictures and recordings of daddy. But what if thats not enough. And I'm also scared that what if my son sees me crying about my husbend being gon. would he get confused about why i'm crying over daddy? what if he thinks daddy hurt me? or if daddy abandond us? Eventhough he didnt. What should I do to make this deployment easyer on our son? I'm really scared about this. I never really thought about it untill my hubby had to leave for a 3 wk training course. oh btw my son is 9 months old 10 months on the 22nd. a year old in may. hubby should leave in October and be back October of 2010 so my son will be over 2 years old when daddy returns. What if he's scared of daddy when he gets back? ugh i got a million questions.

 
mommy20081

Asked by mommy20081 at 1:33 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • My husband has been deployed twice to Iraq within the first 3 1/2 years of our son's life. PM me with any questions you may have. You may want to make a daddy doll for your son. It helped our son a lot. You can get them at www.hugahero.com
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 1:37 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • That's got to be so hard to go through. Don't cry in front of your baby, they can scense when something is wrong. Show him pictures of daddy, tell stories about him, and let him know daddy will be back. God bless your husband, you and your baby! Good luck.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 1:37 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • all I can do is cry about it anymore, jut the thought of him leaving us. Its sooo scarry! thanks for you blessings mamaada.
    mommy20081

    Answer by mommy20081 at 1:41 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • My SO isn't in the military, but with the way things are he had to move out of state almost 2 years ago and is only home every several months for a week or two. Our oldest daughter was 1 1/2 when he first moved and she did ok with it. He called her a lot and he keeps a MySpace page where he will post new pictures...so my daughter and I check that out. They don't forget. Keep a lot of pictures, and either have your husband e-mail you some or do a MySpace page for your baby to visit with you.

    I will agree to try not to cry in front of your child. When he left to go back to work this last time I cried because she kept asking "Daddy's not gonna come back for a long time?" and when I cried, she cried big time. It was really upsetting for her to see me like that. So, really, try to hide it as much as you can and be positive about it in front of your LO
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 2:01 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I know how you feel. My husband used to travel all over the country for work and was home rarely and he's going to be going again. My suggestions is to keep lots of photos around him so he know what daddy looks like so he's not scared of him, recordings are key even if its just voice because he's used to hearing daddy. About the crying, I had a really hard time with it too, try not to cry infront of him. If he does see you crying breathe deeply and just play with your son. It will do two things calm both of you down and distract your son. Best of luck
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 2:34 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • My hubby and I were both active duty Marines, and he was pulled on a deployment right before our second daughter was born (one month to the day). Our oldest was almost 11 months at the time. He ended up doing a 6 month kick in Iraq. We didnt want our oldest to forget daddy, so i put up all the pictures of her and him all over the house where she could see them and also every night before bed I would give her goodnight kisses and she would give daddys picture kisses too. She would talk to the picture like he was there. When he would call I would let her be on the phone too. I also bought a laptop/webcam, and digital camera. We took tons of pictures to send him, and we would webcast to each other letting them see daddy. When he got back, our youngest only knew him as a picture she was a tad scared seeing the 'real' daddy. But our oldest was a bit funny. She was a bit mad for him for a week!
    MSully3

    Answer by MSully3 at 2:52 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • btw Daddy Dolls are the best thing ever. The SNCO wives that created them were from my base, Camp Lejeune, and I went and made a family pillow for their daddy to have in Iraq. When he got back our oldest claimed it as hers...lol. I have heard of some guys making video clips of themselves talking, singing, even reading books to their kids. Tell your man to utilize his computer lab while he is out there...he could even sign up to 'work' there. Thats how my hubby managed to chat online/webcast so much for our kids. I know I hated everyday that went by that my hubby was deployed, but just know you arent alone! You two take care of each other, and that your husband comes back safely! Feel free to PM me or even myspace me!
    MSully3

    Answer by MSully3 at 2:59 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I looked at that hero doll thing... i cried. I'm getting one with a voice box thingy.
    mommy20081

    Answer by mommy20081 at 3:50 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Hello to all my Militay Mom i take my hat off to you ladies. im not a military mom but im from a military family, my sister in law just married my brother and they just had a 1 month old baby and now off to the netherland in europe its hard just for me to hear the stories that she tells me so just know military moms you ladies are the BEST OF THE BEST cause i know its hard.... I love you ladies and I will always keep you in my prayers i know this is not an answer that you were looking for i personally dont have experience but i have much repect and will encourage you ladies as much as i can..... You Military Moms Rock
    sasa314

    Answer by sasa314 at 5:27 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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