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Falling for my guy best friend

We met through my ex boyfriend. I bumped into him when getting my mtrcyle endorsement in Dec. last year as he was there to support a friend. So we've become the best of friends and it's a beautiful and very positive friendship, only that we know that we're falling for each other. My son's dad who is not the ex and who doesn't know my best friend wants me back. I'm 29, my best friend is 22 but has been on his own since he was 16; shows lot's of maturity, yet I'm so happy where I'm at as far as developing my career, having his friendship and the thought of probably working things out with my son's Dad some day. But I just realized that I'm falling for my best friend. Any advice? So many factors and my son really likes "cookie" my best friend's nickname that my 3 year old made up for him. I'm really centered, yet I feel I would brake that perception and dissapoint a lot of people if I pursue the next step with "cookie".thx

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • "Cookie" should go back in the box.

    Your son needs his dad-not a "cookie".

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • We don't know what's really in your heart. But I can tell you about a past experience. I had a guy friend who was really close to me. We were best friends and it seemed like we spent so much time together. We were friends for years and we had both been there for each other during bad breakups and hard times. I started thinking I had feelings for him and said something, he said he had feelings for me as well. It was comfortable and didn't feel off at all. Then we took things to the next level and it totally destroyed things. I realized my feelings for him were more of an escape from reality to something comfortable. I felt "safe" with him because we were so close. But realized I didn't really have those romantic feelings for him, just security. It took close to 5 years to be able to build our friendship back and it will never be where we were. Not saying this is the same thing for you, but it's possible.

    Answer by DDry at 1:44 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • The grass is always greener until you have to pick his dirty underwear up off of it. Concentrate on your son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • follow your heart. you dont have to be with your sons dad for him to be a dad. he can still be in your sons life and be a dad. my husbands dad isnt his dad, its the guy who raised him, who taught him how to play catch, and spent days with him. took him to baseball games, and had that father son relationship. if youre not gonna be happy with your sons bio father. then dont be with him. if youre not gonna be happy with your sons dad then dont be with him, its far worse for your son to be in a household with arguments and fighting and all that. a happy mom is a good mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • my husband and i were best friends since 10th grade, we graduated in 05 and we are still best friends and he is the most wonderful husband in the world. i love him and he loves me. we are going strong. we have been together as a couple for over 4 years. and we still have an amazing relationship. we argue sometimes but in the end....its good, and we are still in love, and its amazing. i think that if its really meant to be its gonna be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Don't listen to the first anon...
    You need to follow your heart. If your son's father loves him, your son will always be apart
    of his fathers life..
    Staying with a man because you have a child is not a reason to stay..
    follow your heart, take a risk if you need to, you will never know until you explore.

    Answer by Dannee at 2:23 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • follow your heart you heart will not lead you wrong we make bad decisons sometimes but in the end if you dont go thru something how will you learn anything... on day you will be the one on the other end giving advice you have to go thru something to learn something

    Answer by sasa314 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You have to ask yourself one question

    "Is the thought of living without his love worth the possibility of living without his friendship?"

    If your heart says 'yes' then go for it! Like PP have said, a good dad is a good dad wether you're with him romantically or not. But, if you still may want to work it out with your son's dad, then maybe you should hold off on anything with your friend. You wouldn't want to start a relationship only to stop it for your son's dad. Then you would lose cookie as your friend and as your partner.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 6:27 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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