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Cheating

My husband and I got married May 19, 2007. On October 13, 2007 I found out that he slept with his ex girlfriend the weekend before our wedding. He apologized for it and I eventually forgave him. On Christmas his ex texted me saying that she was engaged. I was happy for her. Then Sunday when my husband was on his way back to work (he works 4 hours away) he called me and said that his ex had called off her engagement. I was looking through his phone last week and saw that he texted her while he was at work saying "Hey baby." Then Thursday night on his way home he texted her more saying "Hey baby" and "I love you." I found out that Thursday she completely broke everything off with the guy she had been with. My husband is supposed to start working in Topeka on April 6th and she lives like half an hour away. This weekend he was telling me that he was going to stay with her if they got the job in Topeka. cont....

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agrafel

Asked by agrafel at 2:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (117 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • It hurt to know that he could say something like that to me. I confronted him about it and told him that if he wanted to stay with her while he was in Topeka then to just stay with her. He obviously still has feelings for her but doesnt want to fully admit it to me or to himself. I know he has contacted her other times but now it makes me wonder how much he actually talks to her. I worry about him working in Topeka now. I'm afraid that stuff will happen between the two of them and my marriage will finish falling apart. What should I do???
    agrafel

    Answer by agrafel at 2:49 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • RUN! He is not sorry for what he did before you got married, obviously! He is still sleeping with her and actually thinks you are stupid enough to not know. He isn't going to change. You gave him a second chance and he blew it. If it were me, I would have his things packed when he got home from work!
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 2:49 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You need to leave. He will only break your heart and drag you down further. I hope that you are strong enough to leave and not fall for his lies anymore.
    jessicakaiser

    Answer by jessicakaiser at 2:51 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You need to see an attorney now and start the process. Present him with a completed document (written in your favor of course) for him to sign. He'll either sign or he's smarten up real quick. You just need to be pro-active for yourself.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:53 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I agree with DDry. Leave him. He's making a complete fool of you and obviously doesn't care about your feelings at all. Pack him up, kick him out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I would leave him! Once a cheater always a cheater. Good luck! and im sorry you have to go through this! but just like jessicakaiser said "I hope you are stron enough to leave and not fall for his lies anymore".
    MoMmYtObEtO1

    Answer by MoMmYtObEtO1 at 2:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Ofcourse stuff is going to happen with them. He told you he was going to be with her, how much more do you need. He is NG....in my book no good!!
    As hard as it may seem you need to let that little boy
    go..He is so disrespecting you!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:56 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • We have 2 kids and I have tried so hard for the last 2 years to make everything work. All of my friends tell me that I would be making the right choice by leaving him. I love him way too much though. I rely on him completely for everything. I'm not working right now, I dont have a vehicle or anything. If I were to leave I'm afraid he would get everything and I would get nothing. Since he has the job I'm afraid that the courts would give him custody of the kids. I would NOT be able to live with that. Several of my friends have offered to help me but idk. I'm just so confused. I have considered talking to my attorney about the paperwork.
    agrafel

    Answer by agrafel at 3:11 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Stop making excuses. Take CONTROL of your life. What if he died tomorrow? Are you saying you couldn't make it?! Please girl, of course you can!!

    Start taking the steps to get your life in order and then move on. If not, then you really don't have room to complain.
    LadyChamp

    Answer by LadyChamp at 3:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You are married.. if he leaves and you have proof that he's contacting his ex and all you need to prove is that he's had the opportunity to cheat on you then you get child support and spousal support end of story. You need to decide what you are willing to put up with first. You will be supported by him if he's supported you during the marriage. Don't stay with a man like that for money because in the end it's not worth it. Consult an attorney asap.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:22 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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