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Easier said than done..

Do you ever think that the reason someone answers a question rudly or completly unhelpful (meaning just a smarty pants comment rather than helpful advice or saying nothing at all) is becuase they are really having a bad day and need to take it out on someone else, or that really they are in the same boat, and just want to be smart and make someone else feel bad about themselves. I mean lots of people probably come here looking for support and to see if people are having the same problems as them andlooking for some helpful advice not rude scarcasim. I think people say things with out remembering that somethimes things are easier said than done, and that they are already in a tough situation and are looking for a way out, but things are hard sometimes to get out of a hole . And why not just if you have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all. Why try to make someone feelworse than they already do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Answers (13)
  • "And why not just if you have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all. "

    First, this is a double negative and translated correctly it would mean that you want them to say things that aren't nice.

    Second, many times people react with their true feelings on different subjects.  They might come off as rude to you, but it's the passion they are feeling when they are typing.  Granted, some are just plain out rude.  As for my above comment, please don't take that as rude, double negatives are just a pet peeve.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I appreciate your thinking - thanks for expressing kindness and support for others !

    Answer by waldorfmom at 3:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I don't see it as a double negative. I see it as if you are going to be rude or smart, keep your mouth shut. It doesn't mean i only want your pitty. Giving helpful advice is not the same as looking for someone to sweet talk you and tell you nice things just to make you feel better if they are not true. But rude ness and scarcasim is just uncalled for. seriously many people on here use the fact that this is the internet just to be rude. In real life they probably wouldn't be so rude.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I agree that there is many rude and sarcastic people on here. And as cafemom is supposed to be a positive place for moms to share their advice and not as a bashing zone as it has been lately.

     I think bad behavior on the cafe has gotten much worse to the point of disgust.


    Answer by tyme4me2day at 4:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I think there are maybe a total of ten anons on some kind of power trip, thinking being cruel to others is funny and amirable. What they don't realize is the majority of us grew up many years ago. High school type behavior doesn't get you far in the grown up world.

    Usually if you are having an educated discussion in the politics section and the person suddenly lashes out at you- well, you've hit a nerve. You've made a point that they can't argue, so they call you stupid or a racist or hater. JMO>

    Answer by lovinangels at 4:14 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I think it depends on the the question being asked. For instance, when someone post their 6 year old will only eat cupcakes, then asks is that bad. Common sense would tell you thats not a good idea..


    Answer by PestPatti at 4:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Sometimes I just can't help it when, regardless of someone having a bad day, posts something completely stupid, naive, or silly. I wish people took the time to do some basic research, would use some of that gray matter between their ears, and proofread a little before posting.

    When it comes to politics--which involves controversial topics with diametrically opposing viewpoints, political newbies need to put on their big girl underwear and learn not to take things personally, or just stick to lurking.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I disagree with the saying " if you can't say anything nice....."
    If you ask a question of any sort you are opening yourself up and allowing answers to come in any form. And that quote is just reinforcing the fact that some posters only want answers that agree with them or support them and their ideas and are not able to handle opposition.
    Smarty pants answers are one thing, personal attacks are another, report those.
    Oh, and if your post comes across as agrumentative and harsh, don't blame the ones reading it everyone will interpret it they way they wish.

    Answer by akinbottom2 at 4:23 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I just think that this is a place to discuss politics and current events.

    I don't think it's a place to get therapy.

    If a person is too sensitive, maybe they will feel worse.
    It is best to stand behind your opinions, or explain why you can't.

    Answer by mustbeGRACE at 5:23 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I know many people who are straight forward and blunt in person, including me. If my best friend, or a passing acquaintance, asked me if they should get back with their abusive boyfriend, they would both get a "H@LL NO!"  Sometimes there is no way to sugar-coat the truth. 

    People who are doing illegal, dangerous, or just stupid stuff need to be reminded to use some common sense.  If you really need sympathy, maybe talking to your best friend or minister would be a better idea.


    Answer by mancosmomma at 5:50 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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