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How do you explain another death in the family to a 4 year old?

My husbands great auntie died today. My son grew quit attached to her.Theyd spend all day together when i dropped him of to go to work. Should i even go there and explain it to him?..I dont know how he is going to take it. She was a very lovable, extremely wonderful person..Were going to miss her very much .. :(

Is it okay to just put it off for when he gets older? But i dont want to lie to him.

Answer Question

Asked by aMbeR012005 at 6:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Tell him God has called her to live in Heaven with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • When my great aunt died last October I simply told my 4 yr old that she had died.
    I said she was going to the meadows to wait and visit with her family and she would be very happy and watching over us and that she'd always be in our hearts.

    He seemed fine with that.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 6:19 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • If he asks tell him..What you belive in. (she went to heaven).If he doesn't ask,,don't say a thing..He is still young.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • thanks .

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 6:27 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • I think children understand these things more than we give them credit for. Tell him she went home to God. Answer his questions truthfully. I'm sure he'll understand better than if you try to "lie" about it.

    Answer by jenettyshome at 6:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • My son lost both grandparents last year, six weeks apart. I took him to my step-mom's funeral, and even though we explained it, he still didn't really get it. When we got to the funeral home, he asked my Dad if that was Grandma's house. I didn't take him to my Dad's because there was too much other stuff that had to be done (cleaning out the apartment, etc) and it wasn't safe for him to be in there. He's six now and he still doesn't really understand it. He knows they went away, and they're not coming back. He knows his fish died and aren't coming back. But he doesn't really "get" it. He made a comment today about "Grandpa lives in Illinois."
    He does understand that they loved him and can't talk to him anymore. That they weren't mad at him, but they had to go away. Anything more technical than that we're just waiting to explain when he's ready to ask.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 6:49 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • i had to pull mil aside and tell her we are goign to decide on what to tell him. She just wants us to say hes going with friends or something..I would feel better if i just be straight out with him. I dont want to create an illusion that shes somwhere else. So if he asks, im just going to say the truth.

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 6:52 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Amen to that do not lie to a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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