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My daughters father just walked out on me and I need strength. I feel so weak. He's done nothing but beat me and cheat on me our entire 6 years together, but I'd rather him here than to be out living his life while I raise his kid. It hurts so bad that he would rather be with another girl over his own child. Help me please. I need strength.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • I so know what you are going through. My daughter's dad cheated on me and beat me and then he just up and left one day and never came back. I just found out from his mom that he got another woman pregnant and he doesn't want anything to do with me or his daughter and she is only 8 months old. You really need to spend a lot of time with your child and let them know that you love them and that no matter what happens that you will always be there for them.

    Answer by hannahsmommy80 at 10:51 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I don't know what to say to you...I'm sorry that happened to you but honestly it's a good thing that he's gone! Just live your life one step at a time. Everything will get better with time! Good luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • im sure you are a strong woman all you need is some supportive family and friends and remember it is never your fault tht he is choosing some one else over your child you can keep her safe and take care of her just remember how important her growing up and not making bad choices in life is to you that will give you the strength to keep going

    Answer by attitude2776 at 6:37 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Honesty, you would rather have someone beat you than be by yourself? Honey, you are lucky, he just walked out and didn't kill you first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You say you would rather him be here with you then out there living his life, BUT that can't be what is best for you and your daughter. If he where to stay he would only beat and continue to cheat on you. I say you are lucky he left, I know it is hard but you will get through this, you have to be strong for your daughter....she needs to see that her mommy can live her life without a abusive spouse. If he were to stay and if you are hoping that he will come back you are only showing your daughter that no matter if a man hits, loves or cheats on you it is OK, having him in your life is better then not having him. Look at your daughter, how would you feel if this was her husband beating and cheating on her and she said she did not care and wanted him to stay...could you stand to see someone hurt her in such a way?????
    Give youselft the respect you deserve, I know it is hard facing the world alone but at least you are alive!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Hold your head up high and you be a good mommy to your child and don't let a man treat you bad. You are a human and the mother of his child and you deserve R-E-S-P-E-C-T! lol. Pray and ask God for streanth and believe me prayer is strong, God will lead you down the path you need to go. At the end of the day your going to alright!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • He's convinced you that you have no strength without him. That is not true. Sure you don't want to carry the burden of the family alone. None of us who were abused did/do. It always hurts when they leave us for someone else so you got a double whammy on that. You have all the strength you need. You have it within yourself. You have buried it so deep you think it's gone. We're here for moral support but you have all the power and control over your life that you'll ever need. One day you will take a deep breath and it will surface and you will move on and find a great guy who loves you and your child. Letting go is never easy but love yourself more than you think you love him and the world will offer you the freedom to find a renewed life full of real love not toxic love. You have that trauma bonding going on right now. You hurt. That is understandable. Grieve then think about what YOU want in life then notice he's not providing

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:51 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • It takes a really little man to hit a women, If he has the guts to do it the first time he'll do it again. You don't want your child to have memories like that. And if he doesn't want to be in her life than o well, it will probably be better for her in the long run. I had a dad that beat my mom, I remember it, he left when i was six, I can't imagine what would have happened to me if he wouldn't have left, it's nice for kids to have dads if they are good to them and you, but if they are not, then your probably better off

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 7:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • how could you want him? he beat you, and im sure your daughter knows. do you want her to think its right? how would you feel if you knew her husband was beating her?its your turn to be happy, let him hurt someone else, youve sufferen enough.

    Answer by jbirchard at 7:22 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You need to take this time to love you and your child. That should come first! I know it hurts but forget him, let that chick have that headache! His lost is your gain! A bad man only keeps a good one away!

    Answer by missvicky at 7:33 PM on Mar. 16, 2009