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Im in a horrible place in my life. I need someone.

I hate my life so much. Im young, i have a daughter. I dont have one single friend and the person i have been with for 3 years could give a crap less about me. I am stuck with my daughter by myself at all times and even though i love her with everything i have i am not happy. I dont work or go to school. My boyfriend partys 7 days a week has a new car lots of friends a good easy job lots of money an he has never helped one time with my child. I have nothing. when hes not around im home alone sitting in a house i hate dwelling on being misrable and hating evry minute of evry day. I dont know where to go from here. I can move in with my mom but I will still be alone and have nothing. I am so depressed and nobosy knows. I cant believe im on the internet asking for advice, but i dont know what else to do. Im not happy how can i be happy. I want friends, fun happyness. I love my daughter so much and feel guilty for feeling this way

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Dont feel guilty about wanting to have fun and friends.

    My first suggestion would be to FIND yourself some friends. Ask around, look in the papers and on the internet for some mommy and kid groups. They are everywhere!!!

    If you are open to it, find a church with lots of young people. They will have children too and you can really make some close friends there too.

    Sometimes you have to WORK for happiness, it just doesnt come knocking at your door and no one can MAKE you happy.

    You love your dd, but that doesnt mean you dont get tired and need a break. Help yourself mom,. you will feel better!
    If you dont start feeling better, then I would see a Dr to make sure you are not suffering from true depression. ;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:13 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You shouldn't feel guilty I love my kids too but sometimes I need adult interaction and it sucks sitting at home while the other goes out that bull He should be at least helping out with the child he helped make her he can help take care of her! If you don't want to be with him then go to your moms and try to start getting your life together like getting a job ( great way to meet ppl) or go to mommy and me groups great way to meet people who have children the same age as your own.
    MrsDeputy

    Answer by MrsDeputy at 8:14 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Never felt guilty for feeling like this hun, there is no shame in it.
    Maybe moving in with your mom would be the better idea, just so she can help you out and be supportive. Look for a mommy group, there's plenty of free ones in the community. Finding happiness is only found when you know what you want. Maybe ask your mom if she'll stay with your little one while you work a few hours as a waitress, good tips are mostly at night (I used to be one) and go fro mtehre, when you get a bit more spending money, put her in daycare and go full time to work. You'll find friends through work who are single as well, alot of single moms I know do waitressing too!
    Good Luck and if you want to talk just message meand we can maybe exchange msn and talk on there if you're having a hard time :)
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 8:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Hey girl. I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. I know what it is to feel alone and have noone to talk to; it does not feel good at all. You made a great first step in being here on Cafemom. There are so many wonderful women on this site who would love to be your friend and give you advice or just be an ear when you need it; you can PM me anytime you want to talk. How about trying to join some mom groups where you live? You can make some friends that way and get out of the house at the same time, go on line to find these groups, there are usually a ton of them in each township. Good luck to you; I'm here if you need me.
    Jerseymom1228

    Answer by Jerseymom1228 at 8:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You need to do something for you. I will share with you a valuable lesson I was taught, it may sound harsh but I want you to see it as empowering. Don't ever, ever use your children or anyone else as an excuse to not better yourself. You can't meet people if you don't go somewhere to meet them. Don't worry about what bf does because obviously he's not worried what you do if he's gone all the time. Go back to school, find a mommy's group, volunteer somewhere you connect with, do things where you will meet people. Do something you always wanted to do. You are never stuck unless you leave yourself there!! You will be a better mom because you are self accountable and strong.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • You poor thing. It is hard to feel like you have nothing for yourself and feel like your life is going nowhere. I have been in your shoes to a point and it stinks. As hard as it sounds, you have to pick yourself up and start changing things, or nothing will happen for you and you will continue to be miserable and unhappy. If it means getting a part time job (even at a daycare of mothers day out where you can take your daughter with you) just to get out of the house and to have some self worth, do that. Start small. Take your daughter to story time at the library or a moms club and reach out to other women. Go to the park and strike up a conversation with a mom that looks close to your age. You can make new friends in the most unlikely places. If the man you are with really is not for you and you know it, move him with your mom and start over. Don't sink any further into yourself. Talk to someone and get help.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 8:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Hi mommy, oh I'm so sorry where you are. How do you and your mom get along? Do you not want to go there just cause she works possibly and that would still leave you alone with your daughter? If your boyfriend is literally never around because of constant partying that's not good for you. You need nurturing from someone in addition to you needing to nurture your daughter. You should look more into why you'd rather be alone and suffer endlessly instead of living with your mom and having your mom in and out of the house who probably would be company for you more often than you being alone like you are now!!! mom2twobabes is somewhat right - there are places to go if you don't have a car, then once or twice take a cab - call and ask the cost before the ride/you might make friends there who can carpool and you bring baby drinks or three dollars for gas that she could count on- libraries churches have tons upon tons freebies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Hi...you know I was in your shoes when I was younger. I was alone all the time and my son's father drank and never came home. I finally, after 3 years, left and went to live on my own. I was so scared but I had to do it if not for me for my child. You CAN DO IT! There are so many resources out there to help you get on your feet. Go to the welfare dept and they can help you with living, WIC, food, ect. Don't feel guilty for doing it either. You are one of the ONES who really need it! Once you get on your feet you can do it on your own. When my son's father saw that I could do it on my own well thats when he got scared and wanted me back. Some me, especially once you have their child, think they own you forever. You are in control of your own life and you will survive. Be strong for you and your daughter...get the help you deserve and you'll be back on your feet in no time!!!! Good Luck and I'll pray for you!
    Traci1993

    Answer by Traci1993 at 8:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • 721anon cont. -mommy I know what you mean, where you're coming from. I raised my three kids now a teen through midtwenties without their father's help. He wasn't here to help discipline EVER, every sickness every medical crisis it was just me. Very very trying and draining as all hell. I suggested and I repeat it - consider yr mom as a roomate. At least someone else will be in house or apartment with you. U must nurture yourself too. I didn't nurture myself and I was just drained and exhausted but my kids kept me going, they needed me and all three still do - the oldest two aren't done with college yet and still at home too. If I had known libraries had free series for adults and separately for children and toddler and gradeschool too I'd been there alot. AND Barnes an Noble bookstores offer free activites for kids with parents too or parents on the sidelines watching AND 4H (GOOGLE IT) HAVE ACTIVITIES FOR ALL AGES.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • move out, and get CHILD SUPPORT! make his ass pay!
    and as for you, go to school or get a job && make some friends!!
    Get your mom to watch the kid some weekends and go out && party.
    everyone needs freedom. And smile
    Kbmancine

    Answer by Kbmancine at 8:39 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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