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I NEED MAJOR ADVISE!!

MY DH AND I HAVE A DR APPT ON THE 19TH TO FIND OUT THE SEX OF THE BABY. HE HAS TO GO PICK UP HIS DAUGHTER FOR SPRING BREAK WHICH HE WAS GOING TO DO FRIDAY WHEN HE GOT OFF WORK, BUT NOW HIS EX-WIFE HAS DECIDED THAT HE HAS TO BE THERE AT 3:30. WHICH MEANS HE HAS TO TAKE THE WHOLE DAY OFF ON FRIDAY. SO INSTEAD OF GOING WITH ME TO THE DR HE IS GOING TO TAKE OFF ON FRIDAY TO GO PICK HER UP. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS IMPORTANT, SHE IS IMPORTANT TO BOTH OF US. BUT WHAT MY PROBLEM IS, IS THAT HIS EX-WIFE IS RUNNING OUR LIFE AND I FEEL LIKE NOW OUR CHILD IS GOING TO BE SECOND INSTEAD OF ON THE SAME LEVEL AS HIS DAUGHTER. WHAT SHOULD I DO, OR HOW SHOULD I HANDEL IT? NO BASHING PLEASE!!

Answer Question
 
TashaMarie349

Asked by TashaMarie349 at 11:00 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • My husband and I felt the same way about my ex husband. We had to wait around all the time for him. We just cut him out of our lives, but that won't work for you... sorry..
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 11:02 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • can you reschedule the appt or find someone else to pick-up his daughter? Why doesnt he tell her that he cant be there at that time because of an appt that cant be rescheduled but pick up his daughter later or ealier that day? You two need to stand your ground and not lett her be able to run your lives.
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 11:07 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • WELL I DON'T TALK TO HER BECAUSE I TRY NOT TO GET INVOLVED. NO I CAN'T RESCHEDULE THE APPT ALREADY TRIED. AND HIS EX TOLD HIM IF HE DIDN'T PICK HER UP AT THAT TIME HE WON'T GET HER.
    TashaMarie349

    Answer by TashaMarie349 at 11:10 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Be happy the daughter even still likes him, she is going to probably feel jealous of the baby when the baby arrives make sure daddy shows both daughters equal love! I know a little how you feel but my step -daughter just wanted money from my husband no time at all. This is when you emancipate because they take advantage. Have the baby app. with hubby if ex is jealous too bad this is once in a lifetime! maybe invite sister,p.s. don't call them step siblings

    but for you just keep being nice and be happy they will be sisters forever!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • maybe if theres nothing you can do, can you try to get an ultrasound picture for for him to see the baby and the sex of him/her?
    m_06elle

    Answer by m_06elle at 11:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • If nothing else, can you have him on the phone so that he can find out at the same time you do?
    I understand not wanting her to "run your lives" and she is being a pain about this, but a lot of women mean it when they say "or you won't get the child".. I'm not saying kiss her butt, but I am saying that right now you really don't need all of the stress of him not getting to see his child because of a dr's appointment (yes it's important, but it can be recorded so he doesn't miss it and I would recommend taking the tape/dvd in to do that anyway for both of you to watch with your child later anyway). Good Luck
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • YES, BUT THIS IS MY FIRST AND IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT APPT TO ME. MY MOM LIVES SIX HOURS AWAY OR I WOULD CALL HER AND ASK HER TO GO. SO I ENDED UP CALLING HIS STEP-MOM TO GO WITH ME SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO ALONE. I GUESS THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO BUT DEAL WITH IT.
    TashaMarie349

    Answer by TashaMarie349 at 11:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • No, you tell him he needs to go. This is an important bonding time, and my DH was there for mine, even though he left his 6 day shift 2 days early and drove 13 hours to be there on time. There are sacrifices both he and the mother are going to have to make. Maybe instead, his step-mom can pick her up so that he can go? Step-mom won't mind, and DH would get to be with you. If SD's mom doesn't like it, too bad. Don't even bother to tell her that DH won't be coming to get her, just send Step-mom. By the time she gets there and meets mom, SD will be consumed and excited that Gma showed up and surprised her! How could mom resist? If she says no, she would have a screaming (or upset...) little girl on her hands, and I'm sure she'd rather let your DH handle her for his visit.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 11:22 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Looking at the other responses, dude, don't even give in! You've waited how many weeks? And seriously, if step-mom goes to get her and mom says no, little girl is going to be bummed all week, and mom's going to have to find something else (last minute) for her to do all week. Mom's just going to have to compromise in this situation.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 11:34 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

  • Don’t find out what the sex is, just wait. There aren’t too many surprises in life let this one and your first one be a surprise come birthday time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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