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My Step-Son wants to call me Mommy...

My SS just turned 5 today. I have always been referred to as Amanda w/ my SKs & everyone. I now have an 8.5 month old baby, however. I have been daycare to my 8yr. SD & my SS since about 2 months before I had my LO. Now, the kids hear me called mommy a lot. we still use Amanda when talking w/ them. They say things like "do you want your mommy" & such when talking to their sister.

A week ago my SS called me Mommy on purpose on the way to school. I didn't say anything then because I wanted to talk with SO & BM. BM thought it would be okay for him to call me Mommy Amanda, but she wanted to talk to him herself so that he felt comfortable. Today when I told SS his Mommy was taking him to lunch, he asked me which one. his real mommy or me? & when we were leaving lunch he gave me a hug & kiss. As BM was buckling SS, he told his BM, "I gave Mommy hugs & kisses."

BM doesn't think we should correct SS. What should we do?


Asked by aly38914290 at 11:58 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Let it be. Relax, be happy that he loves you so and that you and BM have such a cool relationship and that you both love your children. Be joyful and stop sweating the small stuff. DH can call you mommy and/or amanda as he wants to or the situation warrants, SS can call you what he wants and SD too. As long as its out of love....
    It'll be fine. Kids know, trust in them and trust in yourself. You guys have a beautiful, healthy loving family. Congratulations and keep up the good work.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:04 PM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Leave it alone. If he's comfortable calling you that and BM doesnt have a problem with it then it's a good thing! he's old enough to know the difference.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:01 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • If you're comfortable with it, and BM is comfortable with it...obviously SS is comfortable with it so I say why not? He still knows the difference between you and his BM.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I think that it is fine b/c all parties are in with it as long as the BM and SS are ok what does the Bd think

    Answer by scrawberry69 at 12:04 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • My next question, should we stop calling me by my name around the house? Like should SO continue to call me by my name or call me Mommy?

    Ex: SO tells his son, "Go ask Amanda to get you a glass of milk." Or should he say Go ask Mommy?

    I dont want to push things, but I also want him to feel comfortable calling me what he wants to call me me....if that makes any sense.

    I asked him at bedtime about it. He doesn't want to call me Amanda or Mommy Amanda. He wants to call me only Mommy. It is really sweet and I love it, but I also feel bad for his BM. And how do we handle it with his older sister. She is 8. She does not feel quite the connection that SS feels toward me. She is older and I think that is part of the reason she doesn't feel as connected - and she as has always been very attached to her BM. BM babies her - ALOT. Drives me insane. Should we have a talk with her about her brother calling me Mommy?

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:07 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • BD doesnt care what he calls me. lol. As long as BM isn't threatening to take him to court or wanting to talk to him all the time he is great. lol. I do most of the talking with BM. This works out better. There have only been a couple times where he has been the best one to talk with her.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:09 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I'd say relax and let it come naturally. If Amanda pops out, then fine, if it is Mommy instead, then fine, too. He wants to feel that he is important to you, dear child. Just let it all sort itself out without making anything of it.

    Answer by Bmat at 12:13 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I agree with Bmat. Excellent advice!

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:31 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Personally, I think you're making it much more difficult than it has to be. He wants to call you "mommy" so let him. His sister doesn't want to, so she will still call you Amanda. Your husband is supposed to remember to which kid he's speaking as far as "Go ask........"? Why? Just because your step son wants to start calling you "Mommy" doesn't mean everything else in the world has to change.

    Just let it go. His mom is okay with it, his dad is okay with it, you are okay with it, he is okay with it. Just let the rest of the world be. I think you're making this way too hard.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 8:45 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • i know i probably am, but this is new territory and i just want to make sure we handle it right. lol. thank you everyone. I appreciate the advice!

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:00 AM on Mar. 17, 2009