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please help?

family and myself have lived in our area for 18 years. and just about every neighbor that has moved in the area has had issues with the color of our skin and im tired of trying to be the good neighbor and reasure that my family and i are good people their kids throw dirt on my kids and i make excuses to my children why they are that way (mean) we just had new neighbors move in and already their child called one of my husbands frieds the n word and the only response to that was the mother looking out her door to see who they were yelling it to and closed her door, that was 3 weeks ago now just the other day the father came over and introduced himself to my husband and his 2 boys now mind you the boys are only 4 & 6 but my husband seeing that the oldest did not have a bike gave him our sons other bike still in good condition. I'm scared and tired of trying to be nice when their friends come over they dont know you, help?


Asked by sweetangles at 12:15 AM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • Thats messed up. The really sad thing is is that the kids learn it from their parents and the cycle just continues. I have been confronted with this issue (biracial family) and what I see from it is that they are only confident in packs but one on one nobody says anything to me. Don't be nice no more, cuz their behavior is just wrong.

    Answer by wendydeb7 at 12:45 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Ignorance!!!

    Answer by boxin at 12:21 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • That's rude.
    Go over there and say that you don't appreciate the racial comments their kids make to yours and stop trying to be nice.
    Whe new people move in, send over a card with a nice cake or something and leave it at that.
    Until they make the next move, don't bother trying.
    It makes me sad to see that people are still racist in the 21st century.

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 12:29 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Move. Life is too short to live somewhere where you are unwanted, harassed and surrounded by shallow minded, ignorant people. But if you chose to stay, I'm with wendydeb7, don't be nice anymore. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 12:53 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I am so sorry, that must be hell. It infuriates me that this still goes on and you can't be comfortable in your own home. I had no idea that racism still existed until I started raising a 4 week old AA boy almost 3 years ago. He is so adorable and couldn't wait to show him off. I took him with me to the store one day and some idiot stopped and looked at him, at me and back at him, sneering. My shock turned to fury very quickly. Now, this woman had dark hair with light roots, she had curly hair and smelled like she just got a perm, and had dark, leathery skin from too much tanning. I said something to the effect of, you must be jealous, his beautiful look is natural. She said something rude and I honestly can't remember all I said to her then. All I can remember is her standing there crying looking down one half of the isle and then the other, as though she was looking for the best way to escape. cont.......

    Answer by LoriW at 1:11 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • She dropped her basket and ran, the man at the end of the isle stuck his foot out and she fell flat on her face.I was so glad to see that I wasn’t the only one who was infuriated by her “I am better than him” attitude. It has happened so many times since then, I get so mad and my reaction is the same as that first time. I can't believe this still happens! Hold your head up high, don’t let anyone make you feel uncomfortable. All people are supposed to be created equal, but you and your family are so much better than the idiots that think they can look down on you. If they treat you like less of a person, don’t try to be nice. Put them in their place,the kids and their parents. I am embarrassed to be part of a race that treats anyone as you are treated. You sound like a very nice person with a wonderful family, face whoever treats you like you aren’t good enough and demand the respect you deserve.

    Answer by LoriW at 1:17 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • All I can say to that is that kids now a days have no common sense to anything , but what their parents teach them, I have always brought my daughter up knowing that no matter what color you are or someone eles might be, God has made us all equal. What I found out from my new neighborhood, was to be as nice as you can, and then that will make them think wow, their nice people even though their color is different, be the bigger person, but if you feel that they just aren't worth trying to get to know then tell them to mind their own business, and move on. If your boys seem to be having problems with the kids face the parents, thats what I had to do one time and believe it or not me and the mom are good friends till this day. Stand your grounds girl, your kids are your gold and don't ever forget that, don't let no one bully them around. Good luck I hope everything will work out for you in time. From blueeyes.( Deb)

    Answer by blueeyes08 at 1:39 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I know its where you live and its hard to say just forget about it when all of it is literally out your front door but I think you should just do what DesignerMom0801 said send over something nice when they first move in and leave it at that,, and remember you dont have to prove yourself to anyone, you are who you are, and that is there neighbor and they should have respect for you honestly ppl are so ignorate sometimes, and as far as one of the kids calling your DH's friend a *n* then I would have gone over there and said something about it because that is NOT right at all.

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:04 AM on Mar. 17, 2009


    Answer by MOTHERFASHION at 6:15 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Wow, I'm really sorry this is happening to you.. where do you live that it is like this? The only things I can suggest are these:
    1: whenever someone makes a comment, tell them that type of language will not be tolerated. If it is a kid saying it to your kids.. talk to the kid that said it, telling them that is a BAD word and never to speak it to your kids or infront of them. If it continues after speaking out, you can take legal actions.. However I'm not sure if this will make things better or worse for you.
    2: the only other option would be to move... if you don't mind the winters, western NY is a nicer area to live in. I know the people around here are not like that for the greater majority, and those that are, normally keep it to themselves. Otherwise my family would have went through hell. The housing is pretty cheap around here too. A decent to nice 3 or 4 bedroom is between 50,000-100,000.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:59 AM on Mar. 17, 2009