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Teen Pregnancy.. not what you think.

We all know were supposed to accept and support it but what if it was your own teen that was about to / or is a teen parent? What are you doing/not doing in your own home about teen pregnancy. I'm not talking about people over 18, I'm talking about the teens you are still raising.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on Mar. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • Well, being a teen parent, I think that the most parents can do is be open with their kids about it. Talk to them about sex and teach them that people make mistakes and if their going to do it than to do it safely. As far as if one of my kids became a teen parent, which is stastically more likely because of me, I would support him or her in whatever they wanted to do. I wouldn't be happy about it, and would think that I had taught them better, but nonetheless, I would support them.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 3:33 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Look I was a teen mom. There was nothing that my mom could have done to prevent it short of locking me in my room. I love my kids more than anything and if they make that mistake/decision I will be there for them 110%. I talk to my daughter (10) already about her body and about being a woman. I do not hide it from her. It is not always the parents who are to blame and I wish that people would realize that....
    SuthrnPrincess

    Answer by SuthrnPrincess at 3:33 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I'm not blaming any parents I was just asking what people were doing with the children regarding teen parenting. I'm not attacking teen moms or anything like that just a simple question no need to get upset.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I'm not saying it's always the parents. But, in many households, parents don't talk to their kids about sex and what it entails, they rely on the school. And in most cases, the schools don't teach it right either. Parents could try a little harder and pay attention to their kids.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 3:45 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Excuse me? We're supposed to accept it and support it? No. I cannot do that. I will neither accept it nor support it. That's too much like "go do what you will and I'll be here to pick up the pieces". Wrong answer.

    Teach kids to respect themselves, to respect their parents and to abstain. (not necessarily in that order)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I agree anon 7:12!
    Too much "child led" parenting going on nowadays! Thankfully I have boys, so while my husband and I will certainly hound them about making wise decisions, we will monitor there comings and goings, insist on meeting their girlfriends, and tell them whether we "approve" or not.

    By the time our children get to their hormonal years, they will understand the repercussions of their less than favorable actions. They'll know what will happen to them if they disappoint us. They'll understand how to EARN trust, to respect themselves, they'll understand responsibility and accountability. They'll understand some girls will try to trap a boy. Hubby and I will make it clear to whomever our boys are dating that our boys' responsibility lies ONLY in financially supporting the child, not raising it! Anything more would be a bonus! That ought to help in the decision making! Hubby and I will NOT raise a grandchild!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • I was a pregnant teen and there are many things my parents could have done to prevent it. First was get their head out of their butts of their own lives and parent me. Now, they were good parents to a point and then they got so self consumed with their own issues that I got lost in the mix. I turned to another person for love and acceptance. I think all teens do that to a point. I have a teen now and I see her doing some of the same things, but the difference is that her dad and I are together and we are actively involved in her life. I think that its very very easy to say "my child won't do this or that" until you get there. I personally don't take too much stock in opinions from mothers who don't have teens because they just dont' understand how a good kid from a good home could do that. But they do.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:22 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • Its not always about the parents for sure. I am one of the most involved parents that I know. I am the one doing the dropping off and picking up and kids are always at my home. I realize that all they want is to be validated and for someone to say that they are valuable and important. I try my best to make them feel that way. BUT.....sometimes, even the best of parents have kids who screw up. Why they decide to be deceptive, I don't know. I suppose because shes just like every other kid who wants her way and she knows I will say no. I know where shes at every second of every day and I know what shes doing, but even at that....She still slipped through my radar and did some things that I was not happy with her about. The guilt overcame her and she finally confessed and I think the lost trust and hurt it caused me was enough to make her seriously sorry. It showed me just how much control I really have....very little.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:26 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • "they got so self consumed with their own issues that I got lost in the mix. I turned to another person for love and acceptance"

    This was me too. My parents were good parents but when I came home from school, we didn't hardly talk. My parents were having relationship problems, my older brother had a baby with a crazy woman and I got lost in the mix. On top of that, they let me go to my BF's house everyday afterschool for hours! I wouldn't let my kids do that! Now, I may still have gotten pregnant but I would tell other parents to make sure they are paying attention and don't stop parenting their child just because they look like an adult! Also, telling kids about BC/abstinence is great but the real focus needs to be on having confidence in yourself and self-respect. I got pg by an abusive man because I just wanted someone to love me and make me feel special.
    TanyaR1024

    Answer by TanyaR1024 at 8:38 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • We will be discussing protection rather than just abstinence. My SO lost his virginity at 14 and I lost mine at 15...so we know what it is like to be young and dumb. My father, as much as he hated the idea of someone sleeping with his daughter, started that conversation really early. He told me even at 12 or 13 that he wanted me to save my virginity for love, but when I started thinking about sex to tell him and he would buy my condoms and make sure I had them. Believe me, I'm sure he was chugging pepto bismol when I did go to him...but the point is I DID go to him and I didn't have unprotected sex until I was actively TTC my first child in my 20s.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:55 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

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