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How do you respond if your son tells you he hates you?

My son is almost 10yo. I don't spank/hit/slap my children. I am pretty structured and fairly good at giving consequences, following through/up, and being consistent. I know children say things like this to try and shock us. I don't want him to think he can continue to disrespect me this way but I also do not want to overreact because I know that what he wants is attention. Any ideas?


Asked by ericadrian at 5:55 AM on Mar. 17, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (3)
  • When we would say fresh things like that my Mom would look at us w/ a smile on her face and say, "That's okay, you'll love me again!" and it would make us even more mad b/c we knew she was right!!

    Answer by Janette81 at 6:05 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • when i was ten and i said that to my parents they would respond with "you know you dont mean that" as calm as any other day or always threw me back. Just tell him that and you love him too and see how he reacts. When my parents did the whole reverse thing it worked on me...Im 21 now not too long ago

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 6:06 AM on Mar. 17, 2009

  • When my son has said that he hates me, I have told him that I must be doing a good job at parenting because my job is not to make him like me. I also respond by telling him that I love him and that it is okay for him to tell me how he feels, but that he still needs to do what he is told. Don't take it personally and don't react with anger. You can even hug him while telling you that you love him. My son knows, although he may not fully understand, that parents discipline because they love their children, not because they want to upset their children.

    Answer by Cathietalks at 6:10 AM on Mar. 17, 2009